Using the Mx. honorific (pronounced mix) on your wedding invites just got even easier.

By Lauren Wellbank
February 10, 2020
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When it comes to your big day, the first clue most guests will get about what's to come is in the form of your wedding invitations. That's why making an etiquette gaff on these important paper goods is something you really want to avoid. To that end, we talked to Jove Meyer, wedding planner and owner of Jove Meyer Events, to get answers on how (and when) to use the Mx. honorific on your invitations.

When should couples use Mx. as the honorific on their invitations?

"Couples should use the title Mx. for guests who do not identify with a specific gender role, and/or for those who are gender fluid, gender non-binary, and/or trans," says Meyer. For individuals who identify as men/male, you use Mr.; for individuals who identify as women/female you use Mrs. or Ms.; and for those individuals who do not identify with a specific gender then you use Mx. If you are unsure about guest's gender identity, Meyer says it's always best to ask.

To plan an even more inclusive celebration, Meyer says to go ahead and ask all of your guests their preferred pronouns; should a guest let you know their preferred pronoun is they/them, you can use the title Mx. on their invitations and on their seating assignment. If you prefer to not ask each guest, another option would be to keep things a little more informal and avoid using any titles at all, he adds.

How do you use it to address a couple?

"When addressing a couple where one or both partners are gender non-binary and or trans, you would not address the envelope in the typical male first, male-centric order," explains Meyer. Instead, consider putting their names in alphabetic order. "This is an easy way to make your invites more equal, and less hetero-normative, in format," he says. "It also gives each person their preferred title and full names, unless you know for sure they are a couple who goes by one last name." The most important thing to keep in mind when using the title Mx., says Meyer, is to not only use it for people who are gender nonbinary or trans, but to use it correctly. "Do not use it as a blanket replacement; instead, use it with thought and attention."

Is the use of Mx. becoming more common?

"Mx. is the latest frontier in equality language, and it is not something I am seeing on the regular yet, but I do believe it is only a matter of time before we see it make its way into the public wedding vernacular," says Meyer. "Gender is no longer narrowly defined as male/female, and now with more and more people coming out as trans and or identifying as gender non-binary the visibility is better and change is happening." The more people are proud and vocal about their gender identity, the more society can learn and make changes, he adds.

Is there anything to keep in mind before using Mx.?

"People can be very sensitive about their titles," says Meyer, and how they are addressed. Be it gender or career, the title says a lot about a person and adds power and or prestige to their name, so we always suggest asking your guests for their preferred titles when reaching out to collect addresses." Simply put: The more you know about each of your big-day attendees, the better you can make each person feel. "Plus, asking for titles, and including Mx. in the list of options, is a great way to help educate others who are not familiar," he adds.

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