She can still share this exciting time with you.

By Jillian Kramer
June 03, 2019

You'd love your mother's help planning your wedding, but there's a problem: She lives far away-so far, in fact, that she can't be there in person to help you make the big decisions for the big day. Don't stress: Your mother can still lend a wedding-planning helping hand. "It's important to find ways to include a long-distance mother in wedding planning so that she doesn't feel left out of this important and monumental time in your life," says Valarie Falvey, owner of Kirkbrides Wedding Planning & Design in Cleveland, Ohio. And here are five ways to do so, from using your smartphone to your advantage to creating your registry.

Snap a picture whenever you can.

As you meet with wedding planners, florists, bakers, and any other vendors whose work is visual, take pictures to send to your mother, Falvey suggests. "Send over photos of wedding planning decisions such as style boards, sample centerpieces, dresses or fittings, pictures of the [ceremony] and reception venues, and so on," she says. "This will keep her in the loop," as well as allow her to knowledgably weigh in on the decisions you'll make for the wedding.

Send RSVPs to your mother.

If your mother is an organizational maven, address RSVP cards to her house, where she can review them and keep track of your guest list. Not only is this a big help, but "it's fun to talk on the phone every day to see who is coming and who sent their card back," Falvey says.

Enlist her help in creating your registry.

You no longer have to go into a store to create a registry. Many gift registries can be created online. So, make a phone date to peruse a store's website with your mom. "You can even do a screen-share," Falvey says.

Save important meetings for her visits.

Some meetings simply can't be had without your mom. Whenever possible, "schedule the most important meetings when your mother is in town-including the dinner tasting, final venue walk-through, floral design meeting, and cake tasting," says Falvey. Your mom might not be able to come to town multiple times, so, "try your best to book the appointments back-to-back," Falvey suggests. Doing so will make your mom "feel involved and important, that you wish for her to be there enough to schedule around her visits," Falvey adds.

Include her in your ceremony.

Talk to your mother about the unique ways she can help make your ceremony extra special. You might ask her to light a unity candle, walk you down the aisle, select the song that plays as she takes her seat, or anything you can brainstorm, says Falvey, who adds that, "a special note included in the program to parents forms the bride and groom is always a nice touch."


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