Here are some tactful ways to approach this disagreement.

By Alyssa Brown
May 23, 2019

As you plan your wedding, you're bound to have a few moments when your well-meaning parents step in with an opinion that feels almost like an ambush. Whether you see it coming or not, it's hard to navigate these disagreements with grace and come to a compromise that works for everyone. In the case of an outdoor ceremony ban, the best approach is usually to get to the bottom of their logic so you can come up with a solution that you're all happy with. Here are some tactful ways to manage the conversation if your parents don't want you to tie the knot outdoors.

Get to the root of the problem.

Firstly, ask your parents why they're against your outdoor ceremony plan. If they can come up with clear, logical reasons, you'll have an opportunity to problem solve so that you're both happy with the outcome.

What to do if it's an issue of weather.

If your parents don't want you to have an outdoor wedding because they're worried about inclement weather, you may be able to work together to come up with a backup plan if the weather becomes too uncomfortable for guests. In this case, they really do have your guests' best interests in mind, as well as yours. Maybe they'll be willing to help you fund a backup ceremony tent or indoor venue should it be necessary to use at the last minute. Your venue might be able to offer recommendations based on what previous clients have done in response to too-wet, too-cold, or too-hot weather.

What to do if it's an issue of religion.

If your parents are against an outdoor wedding because they want to see you marry within the walls of a religious institution, explain to them the various ways in which you can still incorporate religion into your wedding. Maybe your officiant is a religious leader they know or maybe you'll bring in ceremonial rituals and readings that are inspired by your faith. You can even rent or have some religious props custom made for the outdoor ceremony if that feels fitting to your personal beliefs as a couple. If, however, you have no plans to incorporate religion into your outdoor wedding, the sooner you get this conversation out of the way with your parents, the better. Once they clearly understand where you stand on this topic, they're less likely to keep pushing.

What to do if it's an issue of sentiment.

There are many parents who have a sentimental reason for wanting their kids to marry indoors. If so, talk through what these reasons are and see if you can come up with a reasonable alternative. For example, if your parents want to see your wedding take place in the same place they wed, maybe there's a way to have some photos taken here at a later date, which you can frame for your parents. Or, maybe you can come to an agreement that you'll attend this facility as a family. There's almost always a way to negotiate sentiment and honor your parents while also having the wedding ceremony you feel best reflects you as a couple.


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