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How to Choose the Right Ring Bearer for Your Wedding

From his age to his personality, here are the factors to consider before choosing your smallest attendant.

Contributing Writer
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Photography by: Maria Lamb Photography

What's cuter than a little boy walking down the aisle at a wedding with a tufted pillow in hand and a flower girl beside him? We still haven't found the answer to this question, but we do know that it takes our breath away every single time. That's why it's important to really think about who you want to ask to take on this important job. While flower girls range in age and personality, the window of opportunity for ring bearers tends to be a bit slimmer. Here, we discuss what you'll want to think about as you choose the ring bearer (or bearers!) for your wedding.

 

Related: My Ring Bearer Is Too Young to Walk Down the Aisle Himself—What Are Our Options?

 

Do you want him to carry the rings?

One of the most important tips any wedding planner will give you regarding your ring bearer is that he doesn't have to carry the rings at any point during the day. Sure, he might carry a pillow or a ring box, but it's usually best for everyone involved if the best man hangs on to the actual rings. Some couples opt to give ring bearers a set of fake rings, but it depends mostly on the age of the child and the type of display he'll be carrying.

 

Consider his age.

The best ages for ring bearers is around typically between three and eight. You can get away with a younger boy toddling down the aisle, but they're more prone to meltdowns the younger you go. Boys older than eight tend to be more embarrassed by the task of being a ring bearer, so you'll have to get creative in the way you incorporate them. For instance, sending a 10-year-old nephew down the aisle with the family dog is a great way to take some of the attention off of him so he's more comfortable and doesn't feel like he's doing a task too juvenile for him.

 

Think about his personality.

Most boys are active and mischievous at this young age, so you should take personality into consideration when you're selecting your ring bearer or group of ring bearers. If you think you'll have any behavior issues during the ceremony, it may be best to have them sit this task out. Shy kids tend to do well if they're with other kids they know, so it's often more fun for them if they have a buddy system going.

 

Consider whether or not his parents will be easy to coordinate with.

For the sake of coordinating attire, photos, travel, and the ceremony rehearsal, you'll want to be sure that the parents of the ring bearer are easy to get in touch with. For this reason, it's often best to go with a child who is in your immediate family or very close friend group.