The first big decision you'll make about your wedding is the location, which is why it can feel a little unsettling when you realize that you and your partner are on totally different pages about where you'll tie the knot. Once you have a chance to talk it out, you'll likely end up coming to a compromise that you both feel great about. Still, settling on one location when you have two want radically different things may require a few late-night chats, spreadsheets, and creative brainstorming in order to come to a mutual decision about the ideal locale. To help, we're offering some tips for getting through this first critical stage of planning your wedding.
Reassess Your Priorities
Are you prioritizing the same things? If your top three priorities are misaligned, it'll be hard to agree on anything while you're planning the wedding, so it's time to get on the same page. Come to agreement about your must-haves as a couple. Is having a big dance party the most important thing to you? Do you want to be sure your elderly grandparents can attend? Is the food what you really care about? Once you have this list finalized, you can revisit it time and time again and see which locations or venues match your shared priorities.
Decide Whether the Venue or the Location Is the Issue
If part of your disagreement is over the physical location, it may be time to bring in a few other opinions. For example, if you'd like to host the wedding in your hometown and your fiancé would like a destination wedding, it might be worth talking to a few friends and family members about whether they'd be able to attend a far-flung celebration. Their answers may surprise you, and may help you make the decision together.
Find a Good Compromise
If you're both crazy about two different venues, decide if you can compromise and use one space for a rehearsal dinner, welcome party, brunch, or bachelor or bachelorette party. If that's not an option, could one place work as a honeymoon or anniversary celebration venue?
When in Doubt, Make a Spreadsheet
The reason you two can't agree on a location may be that you haven't found the right place yet. If you feel like you've looked at a million venues and not one is perfect, it might be helpful to develop a sort of rating system so that you two can chart out what you like and dislike about each option at hand. A simple task like this will help move your discussions along since it allows you to weigh the pros and cons of each venue or location together. This also helps to make the process more practical rather than emotional.