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Here's How to Enjoy Your Wedding Day When You Don't Get Along with a VIP Guest

Dealing with difficult people should be the last thing on your mind on your big day.

Contributing Writer
momina jack wedding couple hands
Photography by: Zosia Zacharia

There's something about planning a big event that seems to magnify the emotions of those involved. Normally, that may not be that big of a deal, but when you're the bride—and the event is your wedding day—any already strained relationships feel that much worse. When you have a tough history with someone who's a key player in the big day (say, a relative or future in-law), it's hard to avoid confrontation. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with these types of relationships and still enjoy your wedding.

 

Related: Healthy Ways to Handle a Conflict with Your Bridesmaids

 

Try to talk before the wedding day.

There are some larger problems that talking out over a cup of coffee just won't fix, but for the smaller ones, it may be worth a try. This is especially true if your issue with one another boils down to a disagreement. Dr. Laura F. Dabney, a psychotherapist and expert in relationship conflicts, suggests trying to get on the same page. If that doesn't work, try a compromise. Depending on what the central point of contention is, maybe it will just be better to agree to disagree, at least until after the "I dos."

 

Remember that there's a time and a place for everything.

There's a time and a place for everything, and your wedding day is neither of those things when it comes to confrontations. Melissa Kester, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says weddings seem to be the time when strains in relationships really shine through. While she agrees that your thoughts and opinions matter, setting some boundaries is important. That doesn't mean compromising on those things either, though. Instead, Kester recommends staying focused on being happy, and doing what you can to stay away from whoever is the cause of your stress. 

 

Your reactions can have lasting consequences.

Relationship coach Paige Harley suggests keeping the bigger picture in mind. "This day is a symbol of the rest of your life, so start it off right," she says. She also advises brides ask themselves how they'll look back on this situation in a year. If you're worried that you won't be happy with the decision you're making, try another course of action.

 

Don't ask other to choose sides.

Harley advises against inviting others into a situation with the sole purpose of getting them onto your side. Instead she suggests choosing one or two people whose opinions you really value to talk through the issues with if you think you need advice.