If there's anything universal about the experience of planning a wedding, it's all of the opinions and ideas that come flying your way as soon as you announce your engagement. Here, we discuss some of the most common things well-meaning family and friends love to tell a newly-engaged couple—plus, we break down the good advice and the statements you can go ahead and ignore.
Good advice: "Relax, it'll all come together."
While this advice may be unwelcome at the time, there's real merit to it. One of the best things about planning a wedding is that there's a definite end date, and it's a date that'll be full of laughs, hugs, and all of the people you love. Liz Lewis, wedding designer and founder of The Nouveau Romantics, says, "Remember the big picture: It's about the wedding, which is really about the community and families that are coming together to celebrate you two!"
Not helpful: "When we planned our wedding, it only cost us $25 a plate."
People seem to have post-wedding amnesia, especially when it comes to budgeting. While you might have a few recently-married friends who are willing to share budget details, the majority of former brides and grooms aren't reliable with this kind of information. Besides, every wedding is so unique, making it really difficult to cost-compare.
Good advice: "I hope you're taking some time for yourself while you're planning the wedding."
Wedding planning can become overwhelming quickly, especially if you're not taking time away for self-care and relationship upkeep. Setting up a wellness routine for yourself (and maybe a weekly date night with your fiancé) is a good way to keep your minds on life outside of the wedding.
Not helpful: "It feels like you've been engaged forever" or "I can't believe you just got engaged!"
Some couples plan their wedding in a matter of weeks while others take up to two years. There's no right or wrong amount of time to spend planning a wedding, just as there's no right or wrong amount of time to spend dating prior to an engagement. This kind of commentary is surprisingly common though, so don't take it personally. Most people are just looking for something to say.
Good advice: "The best decision we made for our wedding was hiring a wedding planner."
If you're lucky enough to have a friend recommend a wedding planner or coordinator, this sage advice is worth listening to. If you don't have the budget for a full-service planner, hiring someone to execute the small details the day of the wedding can be a huge help.
Not helpful: "You should get married in *this* destination or at *this* venue."
People love to give unwarranted wedding planning advice, venue and destination wedding suggestions included. This should be an easy one to chat through, especially if you're planning to celebrate locally.
Good advice: "Don't forget to eat!"
This might be the most realistic and grounded wedding advice you'll receive. If you're someone who's prone to getting wrapped in conversation and forgetting to eat, ask your maid of honor or a sibling to look after your eating habits throughout the day. Drinking Champagne on an empty tummy is never a good idea.
Not helpful: "Maybe you should just elope."
Not only does this come off as sounding judgmental, suggesting a couple elope devalues their entire wedding plan. Keep in mind that most people who say this have good intentions, like wanting you to save money and lower your stress level.
Good advice: "Enjoy the moment—it goes by so fast!"
As every couple can attest, the wedding day goes by so quickly. Remembering to be present and soak up the energy is great advice for your wedding day.