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Who Should Be Your Maid of Honor: Your Sister or Best Friend?

This may be one of the hardest decisions to make during wedding planning.

Contributing Writer
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Photography by: Bespoke Photography

If you're lucky enough to have both a sister and a best friend, you may run into an unexpected predicament as you plan your wedding. Which one of these important women should stand by your side as the maid of honor on your big day? When you're tasked with picking between your sister and your BFF for this crucial job, the choice often isn't all that obvious. (Except to your mom, of course, who's adamantly on team sister). Naturally, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but you're still torn about who's the right woman for the role. Ask yourself the following questions to get the necessary insight that will help you make the tough decision.

 

Related: Fun Ways to Ask Your BFF to Be Your Maid of Honor

 

Which person do you feel closest to?

This is what it really boils down to: Which one do you confide in? Tell all your secrets to? If the situation were reversed, would your sister or best friend ask you to be her maid of honor? If you're able to answer mostly "yes" for one of these two women, she's probably the person to ask.

 

Who has more time to help you with the wedding?

To be practical, which woman will be able to set aside hours each week to help you write out invitation envelopes, make favors, and be your go-to woman for a dozen other things? If your sister or bestie is working two jobs, is a busy single mom, or there's another reason her time is limited, she may be relieved if you don't pick her.

 

Shouldn't family come first?

Yes, in most situations but not necessarily in this one. Someone may tell you that "your family will always be your family but friends may come and go," but if you and your sister are many years apart in age, for example, your best friend, who's the same age as you, may feel more like a sister than your actual relative does. To avoid any drama later, have a chat with your sister to find out if she even wants to be considered for the role.

 

Would having two maids of honor work?

Sure, it's not the usual thing but it's your wedding so you should do what you want. If having two maids of honor means less stress for you, have two. Splitting the MOH's duties will mean less stress for the girls, too—one can plan the bridal shower, the other the bachelorette party.