You're putting a ton of energy into planning your wedding day, poring over the details and doing everything you can to ensure it all comes together exactly how you've envisioned. But if you're feeling extremely stressed out and disappointed over seemingly small things not working out, you might fall into the category of "perfectionist bride." While there's nothing wrong with wanting your day to be special and memorable, it's impossible to expect that everything will be exactly as you planned, but some brides (and grooms!) lose sight of this reality. What's more, they begin to forget what really matters about the big day, and that's the fact that you get to marry the love of your life.
If you're afraid that you're morphing into a perfectionist bride, there are things you can do to regain some perspective. First things first: Acknowledge that you're taking everything a little too seriously, then reset your priorities. Here, five signs that it's time for you to adjust your wedding-planning perspective.
You're not listening to your vendors.
Remember that you hired each of your vendors for a reason: because you trusted their opinion and expertise. You also hired them so that you didn't have to do everything. "Let them do their job so that you can be less stressed and enjoy your wedding day," says Jessica Janik of The Invisible Bridesmaid. If you're having trouble taking any of their advice, you may want to rethink your positioning on the issues at hand.
You complain constantly.
Amy Katz, owner of Amy Katz Events, finds that perfectionist brides often resort to complaining about everything in the weeks and days leading up to the wedding, which doesn't do much to service anyone. "Instead of offering issues, try offering solutions, or asking questions to find out why something might not be going as planned and whether or not it could be for the best," she says. "For a little extra help, look back on our previous notes about trusting your decisions, delegating to your vendor team, and checking in with your planner."
You fired your last two wedding planners.
If you're having trouble finding a wedding planner because you think no one can plan your day but you, you might want be a perfectionist bride. "Even if you helped plan one of your friend's weddings before, you still don't have the experience of a professional wedding planner," says Janik. "A planner will only support your vision by making sure everything is the way you discussed and want it, that everything stays on schedule, and that everyone involved is where they need to be so everything runs smoothly."
You can't stop stressing out over weather.
Many things about your wedding day are out of your control, and of one of those things is the weather. Yes, it might rain on your special day, and if you can't shake the idea that the weather might not be perfect, Sabrina Zeile of Weddings By Sabrina, suggests choosing an indoor venue or, at the very least, mapping out a rain plan that you really love just in case.
You keep having nightmares about things going wrong.
It's important to remember that some things will go wrong on your wedding day—it tapers expectations. But if you're worrying yourself sick over the possibility, you might be a perfectionist bride. The best thing to do in this situation is to discuss your concerns with your wedding planner. Don't have a planner? Consider seeing a therapist every so often throughout the planning process to go over the issues you're having.