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How to Deal with an Unenthusiastic Best Man

He's just not that into your wedding.

Contributing Writer
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Photography by: WARNER BROS./COURTESY NEAL PETERS COLLECTION

You assumed that when your groom chose his closest pal to be the best man, the guy would feel so honored, he'd take the job seriously. While you don't expect him to be wedding-obsessed like you are, you do expect him to show some sign of interest—asking a question or two about the big day or volunteering to help somehow. But his silence and lack of support says a lot. How should you handle Mr. Unenthusiastic? We have some ideas.

 

Related: Tips for Delivering a Best Man Speech That Doesn't Disappoint

 

Talk to Him

There could be something going on in his life that he's distracted by—job, family, health, or a million other things. The groom, rather than the bride, may feel more comfortable having a one-on-one with him to find out what's on his mind. This is especially important if a lack of enthusiasm is unusual for him.

 

Don't Focus on His Disinterest

That's right, ignore his behavior. He's probably clueless that his lack of excitement bothers you. Give your attention to more worthy causes, like finding the perfect wedding dress or the merits of buttercream over fondant.

 

Tell Him What You Expect from Him

This relates back to his being clueless. If this is his first stint as a best man, the guy might not realize what the job entails (besides planning the bachelor party). Fill him in. While you can't make someone be overjoyed about your wedding, you can ask him to not be negative, if that's how you view his unenthusiastic ways.

 

Rely on Others

You may need to ask a groomsman to help fulfill the best man's duties, like relaying important info (tuxedo details, rehearsal and wedding timeline) to the other groomsmen. On the wedding day, the best man holds onto the rings at the ceremony, and walks with the MOH down the aisle and dances with her at the reception.