Should Our Flower Girl Have Her Hair and Makeup Done for the Wedding?

The short answer? It depends.

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Photo: Jose Villa

You've finally decided who will serve as the flower girl on your wedding day. Whether it's your niece, baby cousin, child, or a friend of the family, it's no doubt exciting to bestow such an honor onto a child you care about. Now it's time talk through the details with her mom and dad-namely, what will she wear and will she have her hair and makeup done? While you probably considered the first question, it's no surprise if the latter never even crossed your mind. After all, your flower girl is probably under the age of 10 and may or may not have worn makeup before.

Whether or not to include her in the getting-ready process, along with giving the youngster her very own hair and makeup appointment, is up to you. Experts agree that it depends on a few factors, including the age of the flower girl and the role you see her playing in your big day.

"Most flower girls love playing around with makeup and are enthralled with the idea of having theirs done," says Cristen Faherty, wedding and event planner at Cristen & Co Event Coordination & Design. "Including her in the preparations with the rest of the bridesmaids on the big day is an honor." How much makeup should she really have done then? Pose the question to her parents. If they're okay with it, Faherty says a minimal makeup look, with just a little blush and lip color, is appropriate. If they're not comfortable, don't force the subject.

As far as hair is concerned, it can really be as fancy or as casual as you prefer. If you'd like her to fit in more with your bridesmaids who are all getting their hair in updos, suggest that to your flower girl's parents. "Usually a simple hairstyle is all that is needed (a few minutes to curl or put her hair up) depending on age," says Candice Coppola, owner and creative director at A Jubilee Event. The pro adds that it's a thoughtful gesture to offer to pay for this as your gift to the young attendant.

However you choose to handle your flower girl's appearance, remember that much of her participation will be out of your control. "I have had flower girls throw a crying tantrum walking down the aisle before and you just have to go with the flow," says Faherty. "Try to avoid tantrums with having another flower girl partner up with the younger one so they can walk down together-it makes the younger one feel more secure." Remember, it's a big role for a little one! Making her participation as easy as possible will help free up the stressors placed on you on your big day.

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