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What's My Fiancé's Role in the Bridal Shower?

Does he need to plan to be there at all?

Contributing Writer
rehearsal dinner couple
Photography by: Lacie Hansen Photography

Bridal showers often churn up a few unexpected questions that you may not even think of until the eleventh hour. Case in point: What's my fiancé's role in the bridal shower? It's often not until the days leading up to the event that the bride-to-be even wonders what (or if!) her future husband needs to take part in the party. To help set the record straight, we're taking a look at modern bridal and couple's shower etiquette here.

 

Related: Bridal Shower Etiquette Questions Answered

 

Should my fiancé attend the bridal shower?

It's totally up to you and your fiancé to decide whether he will attend the bridal shower. Modern etiquette suggests that he show up toward the end of the shower to say hello and help stock up the car full of gifts. Some men even drop in for a few fun games. Older tradition suggests that he arrive with a bouquet of flowers for his bride. If your fiancé feels timid or uncomfortable joining the party at the end, it's absolutely not a requirement or an expectation. Besides, he may want to take the opportunity to spend some quality time with his friends.

 

Should my fiancé attend the entire bridal shower?

If you're hosting a couples' shower, you should both be in attendance throughout the event. Otherwise, it's expected that if your fiancé shows up, it'll be toward the end of the event. Thirty minutes to an hour is usually considered a good amount of time, as most showers run for two to three hours.

 

If my fiancé attends the bridal shower, what should he do?

The whole purpose of a bridal shower, or couples' shower, is to celebrate the joining of you and your fiancé. It's a time for the people you love to spend quality time together, showering you with gifts, well wishes, and a lot of love. Your only job (besides maybe opening gifts and playing games) is to relax, enjoy the party, and chat with loved ones who went out of their way to spend the day with you. Same goes for your fiancé. 

 

What if we're a same-sex couple? Should we have a couples' shower together?

Most same-sex couples opt to have their wedding shower together, as the traditional gender roles need not apply to their celebrations. It's your call. If you have totally different sets of friends or you're worried your shower will be too big, you can always split it into two showers. In this case, you'd both probably want to attend each of the showers.

 

Is it silly to hold a couples' shower?

Not at all. Couples' showers have become more and more popular. A couples' shower is a great excuse to get your closest friends and family together pre-wedding and to introduce people you may not have a chance to link up during your wedding day.