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How to Shop for an Engagement Ring Together and Still Be Surprised by the Proposal

Keep the mystery alive while avoiding post-proposal letdown.

Contributing Writer
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Photography by: Kayla Barker

There are plenty of reasons why couples choose to shop for the engagement ring together. Maybe you don't like big surprises, or you just want to take some of the stress off of your partner. It could be that your partner doesn't want to make such a big financial decision without getting your input, or that you have a very specific sense of style. No matter why you're choosing to shop for the ring together, know that the proposal can still surprise you. How, you ask? Here are some tips that'll help you shop for the ring together but still be blown away when the question is asked. 

 

Related: Real Proposal Stories We Love

 

Don't agree to any timelines.

Just because you're shopping for engagement rings in the fall doesn't mean you'll be wearing said ring before the new year begins. In fact, your future fiancé could decide to hold out for an entire calendar year before popping the question. If you truly care about being surprised by the proposal, neither of you should explicitly agree to any timelines. It could easily happen the day after you leave jeweler or ten months later—let your significant other plan the proposal on his or her own timeline.

 

Don't purchase the ring together.

You may very well want to go so far as picking the actual center stone together, but when it comes to making that oh-so-important transaction, let your partner do it on his or her own. If you don't know when the ring was purchased, you won't know how long it's in production or when it will arrive.

 

Don't pick out every element of the ring.

Every couple is different, so how much say you want to have in the final product is completely up to you. You may want to pick the diamond together, or you might feel more comfortable giving your partner some pointers on setting, stone, and metal preferences. You can take either route, but if you care about being somewhat surprised, you should let your partner make some decisions without you.

 

Don't do the expected.

This one is more for the future fiancé: If you partner already knows you've purchased the ring, you may need to think outside the box to plan a proposal that really surprises her. Doing everything you can to throw your partner off the trail and keep him or her on her toes is important if you want the big moment to come as a surprise. Plus, planning a proposal that's so far outside the realm of what he or she'd expect will make it more fun and special for the both of you.