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How Much Say Do You Really Have in Your Ring Bearer's Attire?

All you need to know about dressing your young attendant.

Contributing Writer
ring bearer
Photography by: Carrie Patterson

Before the bride processes down the aisle, her ring bearer gets his own moment in the spotlight. Tasked with carrying the wedding bands to the altar, this little attendant is bound to be an adorable addition to any big day. But how much say does the couple really have in their ring bearer's attire? Here, we explain how to be involved in the final attire decision without driving the ring bearer's parents nuts.

 

Related: Dapper Ring Bearers Who Completely Stole Our Hearts

 

Think about comfort.

There are no guidelines that dictate exactly what the ring bearer should wear, but you'll want to be conscious of both your wedding's formality and of the child's comfort. Most ring bearers will don something that coordinates with the male members of the wedding party, but in a more age-appropriate way. Talk to his parents about what the adults are wearing, then come up with a look both sides feel great about.

 

Decide what's most important to you.

Do you want your ring bearer in a gray suit? Are you alright with him wearing something more casual? Whatever your preferences, share those with the child's parents, and let them know which details are most important to keep in mind as they shop. You certainly don't want to suffer from a miscommunication and have the ring bearer show up in something that doesn't match your ceremony whatsoever, but you also don't want to be too restrictive.

 

Ask nicely.

"Ask" being the key word here. Rather than tell your ring bearer's parents exactly what you'd like him to wear, ask if they feel comfortable dressing him in your preferred outfit of choice. Odds are they'll happily agree, but it's important to be gracious and remember that this is an added expense for the family. You can also offer your help, either sending examples of what you like or joining them on a shopping trip.

 

Be conscious about budget.

Kids grow fast, so it's tough to ask your ring bearer's parents to spend big on a custom outfit. If you're sending ideas for the family to choose from, be sure to provide outfits in a range of prices. If nothing but that spendy suit will do, it may be best to offer to foot the bill. This will eliminate the financial burden on his parents and make it easier for them to fulfill your requests.

 

Remember that you don't have final say.

Ultimately, the decision on what the child wears on the wedding day is up to his parents. Some moms and dads might be more than happy to go along with your recommendations, while others may have concerns that their child won't be happy or comfortable. Try not to be too controlling with the requests; it's unrealistic to expect parents to search high and low suit in a certain fabric, or to dress their son in something they know will make them unhappy.