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What to Do When Disagreements with Parents Are Causing You and Your Groom to Fight

First, lay some ground rules.

Contributing Writer
Women Arguing
Photography by: Getty Images

If there's one thing that will cause even the least confrontational couples to fight, it's wedding planning. It's inevitable: Between all of the decisions you need to make and all of the unsolicited opinions from those around you, planning a wedding is a high-stress, high-conflict time in your life. The thing that makes it even worse? Disagreements with your parents.


Your parents have the best intentions, yet they can often cause some of the most dramatic wedding-planning moments. From deciding on the budget to butting heads over outdated traditions, parents often feel like they have a huge say in every aspect of your nuptials. They can also, unknowingly, pit you and your partner against each other. Say one parent meddles in a decision that you would rather them not be involved in and your partner takes their side, you're looking at an instant fight. You're getting married, so you feel like it's time for your partner to start siding with you!


Related: Wedding Etiquette For Parents


The best thing to do if your parents are causing disagreements is to lay some ground rules. Typically, each partner should own communication with his or her own family members. Maybe it makes sense to only relay crucial information and mitigate any rogue comments or concerns with your parents before presenting it to your partner, that way he or she doesn't get frustrated. Also, making sure you two are on the same page before involving any parents—even if you genuinely want their advice!—is the smart move. That way, you can duke out any thoughts or concerns before bringing in what will likely be a strong opinion, that may be contrary to your own.


Most importantly, if your partner expresses concern that they don't feel supported, reassure them that you're on their side. This day is ultimately about you two and should reflect what you want, and while you should respect your parents, it's important to have a calm talk with your mom and dad to express your concerns if things are getting tense. Remember that every family has different priorities and perspectives. Hearing out one another while remaining firm in what you and your partner want is the best way to stay as sane as possible throughout this crazy and exciting ride!