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The Pros and Cons of Shopping for an Engagement Ring Together

Should you or shouldn't you?

Contributing Writer
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Photography by: Jessica Bordner Photography

An engagement ring is one of the biggest purchases you or your partner will make in your entire life. As such, it's only natural for you to want to make sure it's perfect. While the engagement ring is traditionally a total surprise, more and more couples are opting to shop together. So what's the right way to purchase the engagement ring? Ultimately, you and your partner should do what you think is best. If you make every major decision together, then by all means shop together! But if you're comfortable with a little mystery and rather be swept off your feet with the proposal—and the ring—trust your partner to make the decision. Either way, this process and purchase will feel incredibly special.

 

If you are thinking about joining your partner for the ring shopping experience, here are some pros and cons to consider first.

 

Related: How to Choose an Engagement Ring Based on Your Personality

 

Pro: You have options.

We're about to let you in on a big secret: Shopping for your engagement ring together doesn't mean you'll know what the bauble will look like when he pops the question. In fact, shopping together can take many forms. Sure, you can go so far as to pick out the exact stone and setting, but you can also try on a few different options and let your partner know which look you gravitate towards.  

 

Con: You'll know it's coming.

You won't know when, and you won't know where, but you'll know a proposal is coming. If being entirely surprised by the proposal is important to you, shopping for the ring together may not be right for you—the experience can be wonderful, but it definitely takes away that added layer of suspense.

 

Pro: You'll ease his stress.

Purchasing an engagement ring is a huge decision and a major investment, so shopping as a team can take some of the pressure off your partner. Just like getting a second opinion when you go to a doctor, having a second set of eyes can be helpful when making a large purchase. Plus, having you by his side reassures him that he'll have you to turn to as he makes any important decision moving forward. Now is that symbolic or what?

 

Con: He won't be able to show how well he knows you.

Your partner might really want to show you his or her love through the design of the ring, and if you're less particular about what your bridal bauble looks like, it can feel more meaningful to wear something that you partner chose specifically for you. And just because you're not going to help pick out the ring doesn't mean he or she can't consult your nearest and dearest—knowing your loved ones put their heart and soul into this special piece can be extremely touching. 

 

Pro: It won't ruin the moment.

So many women are scared that shopping for an engagement ring together will ruin the proposal. But going into a jeweler and trying on rings together can be just as romantic and special as seeing it for the first time when he's down on one knee. You can also think of it this way: So many couples have a first look on their wedding day, but you'll inevitably see both the bride and groom tearing up as she walks down the aisle. Just because you've already seen the ring doesn't make it any less special when the big moment finally comes.