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Tips for Making a Shy Flower Girl or Ring Bearer Feel Comfortable on the Wedding Day

These simple solutions will go a long way in making your littlest attendant feel great.

Contributing Writer
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Photography by: Abby Jiu Photography

Everything at your wedding ceremony is going as planned: All of the bridemaids' dresses are intact, the ushers are charming as ever, and the rings are accounted for. But once it's time for your flower girl and ring bearer to walk down the aisle, they freeze. It's common for the youngest members of the wedding party to feel shy about such a big role, and there are many ways to preemptively help them feel confident and happy on the big day. To ensure they make it down the aisle—and are excited about doing it—follow our expert's best tips for dealing with a shy flower girl or ring bearer. 

 

How to Prevent Flower Girl and Ring Bearer Meltdowns

 

Give Them a Buddy

If one of your ring bearers or flower girls is shy, remember that there's power in groups. "I'd recommend having the flower girl and ring bearer walk together if they're shy. You could also add a second flower girl or ring bearer to act as the shy child's buddy," says Kate Whelan, owner and lead consultant of Kate Whelan Events. "Also, make sure they get a chance to meet in person, if you can, so they feel confident leaning on each other during their time in the limelight."

 

Give Them a Distraction

If you were shy as a kid, you'll probably remember your parents trying to preoccupy you with a game or toy. The same goes for the little ones in your wedding party. "Giving them something to do while walking is a good distraction," Whelan says. "If the ring bearer isn't actually carrying the rings, they can carry a pillow, box, or sign to keep their hands occupied. If throwing petals is frowned upon at your venue, let your flower girls carry single flowers, pomanders, or even ribbon wands to symbolize the celebration of the coming of the bride."

 

Give Them a Reward

What kid can refuse getting a reward for doing a good job? No kid, and that's a fact. Before the little ones head down the aisle, you or their parents can show them a toy or treat they'll get once the ceremony is over. They'll be excited to celebrate with their well-deserved gift at the reception.

 

Have Them Walk Toward Someone They Trust

One of the easiest ways to get a shy flower girl or ring bearer down an aisle is to put someone they really care about on the aisle—or even waiting at the end—to help them fulfill their duties without fear. "You have to put a parent or someone they know and love on the aisle so they can walk toward them. If need be, those people can help guide them down by looking at them as they walk," says Ashley Douglass, owner and creative director of Ashley Douglass Events. "It won't solve all your problems, but it can greatly help."

 

Practice, Practice, Practice

Whether you're a kid or an adult, practicing something beforehand always helps ease the nerves. After going through the ceremony a couple times as a group, take a little more time with your flower girl and ring bearer to make sure they're totally comfortable walking down the aisle. Practice makes perfect, right?