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How to Evenly Split Jobs Between Your Co-Maids of Honor

The last thing you want is for either of them to feel undervalued.

Contributing Writer
maggie zach wedding bride and bridesmaids
Photography by: Vienna Glenn Photography

When you have two very important women in your life (say, two sisters, two best friends, or a combo of both) and you cannot imagine having to choose just one to serve as your maid of honor, the good news is that you actually don't have to. While have co-maids of honor is the easiest way to ensure all of your VIPs are made to feel like just that, the last thing you want is for this shared role to turn into some kind of competition for your time, attention, or to prove who's the best friend. Furthermore, you'll want to make sure that both women are fulfilling the duties rather than assuming the other has the details covered. But how do you split jobs between your two maids of honor? You have a few options.

 

Related: How to Have the Most Harmonious Group of Bridesmaids

 

Go with a 50/50 Split

The key to smooth sailing with co-maids of honor—or a co-maid of honor and man of honor, for that matter—is making sure that both of your MOHs feel that they're truly helpful and there for you throughout the planning process and on your big day. The easiest way to accomplish that is divvying up the maid of honor responsibilities evenly. If you're looking for a diplomatic way to keep both women equally involved, this is it. The problem, however, comes when certain tasks are more time-consuming than others. If one MOH is tasked with planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party while the other is responsible for ensuring each 'maid purchases her dress on time and helping you pack the welcome bags, the split really isn't even.

 

Play to Their Strengths

If one MOH is a fashion maven while the other spends her free time DIYing (hello, you hit the jackpot), assign each woman jobs based on what she does best. That may mean trusting one to help you choose bridesmaids dresses and asking the other to help you put your invitations together. Just be sure to include both women in anything you think they'd be upset about missing—most maids of honor will want to see you try on wedding dresses and check out your venue.

 

Consider Their Availability

If one maid of honor has a young child at home, she may not be able to join you for dozens of vendor appointments, but she'll surely be there for the big things, like your wedding dress fittings. Similarly, if one of your maids of honor lives out of town—in another state or even another country—you should ask for her help only with tasks that are manageable remotely, like tracking down current addresses for all of your mutual college friends on the guest list, following up with late RSVPs, and taking the lead in organizing your 'maids for the bachelorette party.