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The Etiquette of Group Gifting

What to know when pooling everyone's contributions.

Contributing Writer
Bows Wrapped Gifts
Photography by: Kate Mathis

Buying a group gift is a win-win for guests and the bride and groom. For starters, if you're a guest, you get to give the bride and groom a gift that's more deluxe than one you'd normally be able to afford by yourself. If you're part of a a group that's thoughtful enough to pool its money—such as the bride's college roommates, the groom's childhood friends, or all the first cousins—it's fun to think of a big gift idea that you can all give together. If you're thinking about giving a group gift, here's what you need to know.

 

The Guest's Guide to Weddings: When You Need to Give a Gift

 

How much should you spend?

Once the group is formed, it can decide how much to spend based on consensus. Does everyone want to spend $50 each? $100? More? Whatever the number, each person usually puts in the same amount.

 

What to do about the congratulations card?

There are options. If everyone in the group lives near one another or is getting together before the wedding, each person can sign their own name (the bigger the card the better). If that's not feasible, one person (often the one who's collecting the money) signs every participant's name. There's no need to send an additional, individual card from anyone whose name will be on the group card.

 

Who buys the gift?

It's often purchased by the same person who suggested doing a group gift. Before any purchase is made, the group should be in agreement as to what to buy.

 

What are some gift ideas?

Look on the couple's registry for the pricier gifts. Consider items like artwork, furniture, or rugs. Or skip the traditional registry and get them an experience like parasailing lessons on their honeymoon or make a big contribution to their home repair fund (for example, a bathroom renovation).

 

Why isn't an additional gift isn't necessary?

Unless it's a small token gift (like a cheeky cosmetics bag that says "Wife"), one gift is enough. Remember, you're part of a group!