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How to Tell Your Boyfriend You *Don't* Want a Holiday Proposal

Engagement professionals share their advice.

Contributing Writer
holiday-proposal-couple-wrapped-in-blanket-romantic-1215.jpg
Photography by: Pekic

Winter is coming. That means snowy nights, holiday cheer, and newsfeeds flooded with "she said yes!" announcements. While many people covet a holiday proposal, you might not, and that is totally okay. If you're getting the sense a big question might be coming and the very thought of it makes you want to down some eggnog, don't worry. We caught up with proposal professionals Heather Vaughn, owner and creator of The Yes Girls (The Original Proposal Planners) and Alex Bovee, owner of Vision in White Events, to share their best tips on letting your significant other know that a holiday proposal is not the way to go.

 

Dos and Don'ts for an Unforgettable Marriage Proposal

 

Break the ice with social media.

Both of our experts named social media platforms like Pinterest and YouTube as the perfect catalyst for casually dropping a hint. "It's pretty easy to watch a video together and make a comment on something that wouldn't be a good fit for you," says Vaughn. While you're both sitting on the couch scrolling through feeds, don't be afraid to use this handy script from Bovee: "I'd say something like 'Aww look, so-and-so got engaged. Good for them! I personally wouldn't want that many people around but that's right up her alley!' Or, 'Christmas is already my favorite time of year, I'd love to have a more unique setting for an engagement". 

 

Tell your BFF.

Many guys will ask their girlfriend's best friend for advice on choosing a ring or planning a proposal she'll love. Make sure your crew knows what you don't want so that they can gently re-direct his vision if his plans don't align with what you'd want. But make sure you BFF understands they don't need to approve every part of the process. "Even if he's just bouncing ideas off her, your best friend can relay the 'don't dos,'" says Vaughn.

 

Be direct.

For some guys, a subtle hint just won't do. If you two are already talking engagement, give it to him straight. "Determine the type of person you're with and feel it out," Bovee encourages. "If they need to be told directly, just tell them you'd rather it be just the two of you or that you absolutely do not want a holiday engagement." No matter what kind of proposal he has in mind, the goal is for it to be a happy one, and any nudge in the right direction is fair game.

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