Having a Type A personality will get you far in life: You're ambitious, aggressive (in a good way), competitive, and know what you want. But when it comes to planning a wedding, it might get you in trouble. Being a bride is stressful enough, but when you're a Type A bride things get a little more complicated. You want to be in charge of anything and everything, are almost too organized, and you're way ahead of schedule—all while making sure your cake is the biggest of the year.
To make sure your personality doesn't burn you out before your big day, pay close attention to these expert-approved tips on planning a wedding without driving yourself crazy.
Make a planning timeline.
To make sure you keep your mind at ease, figure out a schedule and stick with it. By having a strict planning timeline to go off of, you won't let the small details get you off track. Instead of focusing on which color napkins you want, you'll keep your eyes set on the bigger picture and fly through the process problem-free.
Don't get caught up in every detail.
Speaking of the small details, it's easy to get wrapped up in things that might not matter. But when you zone in on the things that aren't priority, you might miss out on what's crucial. "Being Type A is good thing for wedding planning provided that the bride understands which things are more important than others," says Ashley Douglass, owner and creative director of Ashley Douglass Events. "When you're Type A, it can be hard to complete tasks as they're exhausting every choice and detail, just as a planner should, but at some point, you need to make a call and move onto another task." Decide on the big details first, then take some time on the smaller, less important things. The process will be so much smoother—trust us.
Create an organizational system you're comfortable with.
If your brain never seems to shut off, figure out a system that lets you keep all your ideas in one place—and allows your mind to have a much-needed break in the process. "When your mind is racing and you're concerned that you might forget something, write it down," says Kate Whelan, owner and lead consultant of Kate Whelan Events. "I call it downloading. Make sure to download all your ideas and to-dos in a safe place. That is literally the only way I can relax. If I'm trying to remember everything in my brain, I'm unable to be present and enjoy the moment I'm in."
Know that you can't control everything.
Feeling out of control is a Type A personality's worst nightmare. But at some point you simply have to trust that the people around you will be responsible for themselves and their duties. "You have to accept that you can't control other people, like your family members or your bridal party," Douglass says. "A week or two before your wedding, send an email to your bridal party members and immediate family detailing their specific timeline for the weekend. Explaining what time photos are and where, when they should be on the bus—you name it. But beyond setting them up for success, you can't bother yourself taking responsibility for their actions. You can't take care of everyone all the time."
Remember that it's not a competition.
There's a competitive nature in all Type As, but leave it at the door when it comes to your wedding. Instead of comparing your dress, venue, and décor to friends who have gotten married in the past, just do what makes you happy and remember what the point of marriage is in the first place. You're proving your love for each other—not using the day as an excuse to be a one-upper.
Trust your team.
Weddings are expensive for a reason: You hire a whole task force of people to help turn your dreams into a reality. But to fully enjoy your special day, you have to trust them and focus on what's important: getting married. "You have to trust the vendors you bring on your team—and also know when you're causing yourself unnecessary stress," Douglass says. Otherwise you'll be too worried about the table settings to enjoy what your wedding is really all about.
Remember to relax.
This should be the simplest step, but it's not easy—especially as you're going through a stressful wedding planning process. Even when the bills pile up and things go wrong, remember to take a deep breath, smile, and think about why you're going through this entire process.