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How to Manage All of the Moms in Your Life While Planning Your Wedding

Mom, stepmom, future mother-in-law, and more. Rest assured, there's a way to make everyone feel included.

Contributing Writer
A Bride and Her Mom Holding Hands Before the Wedding
Photography by: Judy Pak Photography

Wondering how to best navigate the uncharted territory that is wedding planning with many important women in your life? Rest assured, whether your parents are divorced and remarried, you're especially close with a grandmother or aunt, or have a future mother-in-law who wants to be involved in every decision, there's a way to make it all work. It starts with understanding what some of the traditional "mom roles" are, and then deciding how best to divvy these up based on your situation. It's your wedding after all, and that's what counts. These tips will help you manage every "mom" in your life like a pro.

 

This Is Why Your Mom Is So Obsessed with Planning Your Wedding

 

Tell them how involved you want them to be.

From venue hunting and reception planning to wedding dress shopping and envelope stuffing, the general rule of thumb is that the mother of the bride should be as involved in the wedding planning process as the bride wants her to be. But this really applies to any of your closest familial relationships, whether it be with your mom, an aunt, grandmother, stepmom, both of your moms, even your fiancé's mother. So if you want your mom at every appointment, but only really want your stepmom or future mother-in-law to weigh in occasionally, let them all know.

 

Give each mom a task.

Don't just tell them you want them to be involved, but rather tell each mom how you'd like her to lend a hand. It's especially helpful to designate specific wedding-planning tasks to each woman. Ask your design-savvy stepmom to help research venue décor and floral inspiration, but make bridal accessory shopping a mother-daughter date. Planning the rehearsal dinner is one of the go-to tasks for your fiancé's mother, but feel free to invite her to be a part of any other tasks that you'd like her input or advice on. Ditto for any other VIP women in your life.

 

Know that more than one mom can help with any given task.

While the mother of the bride or the maid of honor traditionally host the bridal shower, anyone with whom you're particularly close with can plan the event. Have two moms or two maternal figures in your life, both of whom you love? Maybe they'd be interested in co-hosting. You may have always dreamed of shopping for your wedding dress with your mom, but think about how special your grandmother or future mother-in-law will feel to receive that important invite, too.

 

Don't let their opinions overshadow yours.

The bottom line: Make sure that your inner circle is clear about which aspects of the planning process you want help with, and when you'd rather make decisions with your fiancé or with your wedding planner. Just because you're involving your mom (or moms!) in the process doesn't mean they should have the final say.

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