Selecting the right people to stand beside you on your wedding day is no small task, and perhaps the most challenging part of all is letting down those who didn't make the cut. Whether it's because you've decided not to have bridesmaids, you've chose to only ask family members, or because you're keeping the bridesmaid list small, you'll undoubtedly have to let down a few friends or family members in the process. Here's what you should never say when you let a friend know she won't be a bridesmaid.
1. Well, you didn't ask me to a bridesmaid in your wedding.
2. We're just including our closest friends.
3. Frankly, I think the whole concept of having a bridal party is ridiculous.
4. I did a little test to see who my closest friends are and you failed the test.
5. I know that your financial situation is complicated right now and I really don't want to stress you out.
6. You hardly have time to talk on the phone, let alone help me plan wedding events.
7. I thought you hated weddings!
8. You said no to being Catherine's bridesmaid, so I just assumed you wouldn't want to be mine.
9. There's no way I'd put you through being my bridesmaid.
10. I just didn't think you'd want to be a bridesmaid.
11. You're so busy planning your own wedding, I didn't think you'd have time to even think about mine.
12. My mom really wanted me to have just family as my bridesmaids.
13. We needed an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.
14. You don't know any of the other bridesmaids, so I thought you'd be uncomfortable.
15. Being a bridesmaid is the worst. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor.
16. I didn't want to ask you to be a bridesmaid just because I was one of yours.
17. You hate when I tell you what to do! You'd be the worst bridesmaid!
18. With you being pregnant, it just seemed like too much.
The reason most of these statements are not the right approach is because there's a suggestion that you've made an assumption about your friend's ability, interest, desire or availability instead of talking it through with them first. Many friendships struggle when there's a lack of transparency, and the decision of who to walk down the aisle with is a decision that requires candid conversation with your closest friends in an effort to avoid hurt feelings.