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What to Do When a Wedding Vendor Is Advising You Against Something You Want

When to listen and when to get a second opinion.

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Photography by: Brandon Lata Photography

So, you've hired a team of all-star wedding vendors and things appear to be going just great until one tells you that they can't make a dream of yours a reality. This is a more common dilemma than you might think, and it's a moment that's worth stepping back from and assessing the advice you're receiving. Here, we talk through what to do when a vendor is advising you against something you really want.

 

How Many Different Wedding Vendors Should You Actually Meet?

 

Recognize that your vendors aren't just giving an opinion.

Most wedding vendors hate saying "no" to their clients, as the majority of designers, florists, lighting specialists, tenting pros, caterers, landscapers, and event planners are creatives who are nearly always up for a challenge. That's why they get into the business after all—they have a desire to make big dreams come to life. If a vendor is putting their foot down over something they think could be a huge expense or a logistical nightmare, hear them out. They've seen and tried a lot more than you may realize.

 

Know when to get a second opinion.

If you truly feel like you're not asking for a lot, it may be worth bringing in a second opinion. You might have a conversation privately with your wedding planner or event manager to get their opinion and go from there. It's unlikely that they'd steer you in the wrong direction, and they may be able to better explain your vendor's opinions. If it seems like you're getting poor advice, it may be worth going to the competition to find out.

 

Don't ask your vendors to bend rules or laws for your wedding.

It's never appropriate to put a vendor's company at risk when it comes to legality. Something as simple as demanding they go over the local noise cut-off time or something as controversial as asking them to produce a firework show during a burn ban could cause them huge fines or other damages. When it comes to safety, legality, and the venue's restrictions, it's best to play it safe.

 

Ask them to cost it out or give an estimate.

Many vendors will respond to difficult requests with a short, "it's going to cost too much money," but that's a good time to be persistent. If you think that what you're asking for is worth costing out, you can always push for a quote or estimate. There are some things—for example, a wall of fresh roses—that are clearly going to come with a high price tag, but if it's a huge priority for you, it may be worth finding out a rough estimate so you can decide what you're willing to spend.

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