Do you find you're bickering with your fiancé, your mom, or your friends more than usual? You're not alone! Many brides-to-be find the frequency of fights increases during wedding planning, which could be attributed your heightened stress level or because you have so many decisions to make. The good news is, it's totally common. Here, we cover the five fights every bride has before the wedding and how to handle them when they happen to you.
The Fight: Mom wants to take over the wedding.
When you first started planning your day, Mom was all "whatever you want, honey." Before long, though, she was calling daily with flower ideas, emailing links to catering venues, even suggesting signature cocktails. She said she was just trying to help, but one day, the truth came out: If she was paying for something, she wanted a say in it.
Money talks (okay, sometimes yells) so you can't ignore it. Instead of making decisions unilaterally, pick a few things to get Mom's input on. Narrow your choices down to three (as in three bakers or three bouquets) then ask her to help you choose. She won't feel shut out and you won't feel like she's wielding power with her credit card.
The Fight: Your groom is only interested in the bar and music.
You expected that the two of you would plan the wedding together, but he has a different idea. Aside from having craft beer at the reception and hiring a great DJ, he's okay with you deciding on everything else—from the invitations and the venue to the flowers and the rentals.
While it may sound sexist, most grooms have zero interest in decorative things like centerpieces and linens, but they usually care about food and photography in addition to the bar offerings and music. So instead of asking his opinion on every detail, limit it to those he's into. Visit the caterer together and pick out the dinner menu as a couple, and find out when he's available for the cake tasting. Show him websites only for your favorite photographers, and see who he likes best out of your curated group. While it may not be the "we're in this together" scenario you'd prefer, having him participate in a few key areas will make both of you feel like it's his wedding too.
The Fight: Your maid of honor isn't doing her job.
She promised to go see the stationer with you on Saturday afternoon but then she bailed to go to the beach. The beach! You're outraged—it wasn't like there was a family emergency or anything.
It's wrong to make a promise then renege on it, but it's also wrong to think your wedding is as important to her as it is to you. (To be honest, most of the world would rather hang out on the sand on their day off than look at typefaces and paper options.) Find out what's a better time for her to do wedding things with you—maybe one night after work or first thing Saturday morning.
The Fight: You want him to have a PG-rated bachelor party.
You found out his friends are planning a raucous night out—strippers, booze, and lap dances. You want him to call it off and tell the guys he'd rather play poker and smoke cigars. He's refused.
Don't worry about it. Bachelor parties these days are more talk than action. He and his pals will probably eat, drink, party, then go home and wake up with a headache. If you feel you can't trust him, that's a bigger issue than a rowdy bachelor party.
The Fight: You want to invite your ex, but your groom has vetoed that.
You're still friendly with your ex-boyfriend, and while your groom tolerates your Facebook friendship, he doesn't want the ex present on your wedding day. You think he's being ridiculous.
As silly as you think his jealousy is, you should respect his feelings and reassure him that your ex is just a friend. If they've never met, go out for drinks with your ex and soon-to-be husband before you send out the invitations. If that doesn't work and your guy still feels uncomfortable, take your former lover off the guest list. It's the groom's special day too.