Planning a wedding is stressful. You're putting together a ceremony, major party, and honeymoon in a relatively short period of time—that's a big job for a novice. As if that wasn't enough, you've got a real job that needs your attention every day, too. There's so much on your plate, your stress level is at an all-time high. And, to top it all off, your fiancé is getting on your last nerve. Should you call the whole thing off and join a nunnery? Before you send him a tearful "I can't go through with this" text and wish him a happy life without you, check out a few truths about pre-wedding jitters.
They're pretty common.
You're not the first bride to question her sanity ("One hundred guests and a converted barn in the middle of nowhere? What was I thinking?"). Ask around and you'll find plenty who are also overwhelmed by the magnitude of wedding planning. Instead of canceling the whole thing, talk to a recent bride or two and vent; they'll have similar tales to tell about their experience and they'll be able to offer reassurances. Then call your most dependable friends and ask for their help. Wrapping ribbon around 100 favors won't seem like a crisis when your pals are doing it with you.
Irritability is a by-product of jitters.
Things that didn't bother you before, like how he uses the bedroom floor as a hamper, have become major points of contention for you. You wonder if you can put up with this behavior for the next 75 years. Try ignoring the mess and going on a date, and talk about anything but the wedding. Having dinner with him at your favorite café or exploring your neighborhood on bikes together will relax you and put things in better perspective.
You may have trouble eating or sleeping.
Even the most steadfast among us have admitted to physical symptoms of stress: a flip-flopping stomach, lack of appetite, and wide-eyed wakefulness at three in the morning. And no wonder: Getting married is a life-changing commitment. You're about to become someone's spouse, and its importance shouldn't be minimized. If you're not doubting whether or not you want to marry him, again it's worth talking to recently wed friends for their "been there, done that" wisdom. They got through it and so will you.
You'll feel better if you talk to your fiancé.
One-on-one with him, where you talk about what's bothering you, may calm your jitters. And who knows? He may have his own set of worries! Helping and supporting one another is good practice for married life.
Some issues need to be dealt with immediately.
If you find you have real differences on issues such as religion or bringing up children, it's imperative you deal with them now, before you walk down the aisle. Put "speak to a marriage counselor" at the top of your to-do list.