Planning a wedding is almost always referred to as a process, meaning that it takes a whole lot of organizing, serious effort, time, and patience. For some, it can be a tremendous burden on a relationship, while others seem to have no problem keeping it all together. Rather than letting the process get you bogged down and create stress within your relationship, here are a few key strategies for getting you and your partner through the wedding planning as a team.
Start with a planning strategy.
Carefully assess each of your strengths and interests so you can divvy up the workload according to who will shine in each role. One of you may be a better negotiator, while the other may be better at creative direction and big-picture thinking. On the other hand, one of you may be more of a foodie while the other is all about the design of the wedding. By going through a wedding to-do list line by line with your partner, you can come up with a plan of attack that takes advantage of each of your unique skill sets.
Set up weekly check-ins with each other.
Since you'll be dividing and conquering throughout the planning process, it's a good idea to schedule weekly check-ins with your partner. These meetings will keep you on-task and accountable—not just to each other but also to your vendors. There will likely be weeks where nothing wedding-related happens, but it's good to keep the check-ins on the calendar so you can discuss whether either of you is struggling with any upcoming tasks.
Ask for help when you need it.
If you're in the weeds of wedding planning, sometimes the only way to get back on track is to get a little nudge or help from your partner. If you can, try to ask for help before you feel overwhelmed. If you're alrady at that point, don't be afraid to speak up. Just as you're approaching your marriage as a team effort, you're in the planning and coordinating together, too. If one of you struggles, you'll both struggle, so remember to be patient with each other and be flexible.
Make sure you're both communicating with your vendors.
If you're in charge of one vendor, be sure to always keep your fiancé in the loop. By keeping your partner CC'ed on emails and generally apprised of what's going on in the planning process, you'll be able to tackle issues together when they come up. Most people work best when someone else is double checking their work, and your fiancé can serve as that second voice of opinion and reason, not just keeping your best interests in mind but ensuring that you both get all your needs met.
Plan a stress-relief tactic.
No matter how well you work as a team, there are bound to be stressful moments when you're planning a wedding. Whether it's getting the guest list sorted out or finalizing table arrangements at the last minute, the important thing is that you don't take that stress out on each other. Have a code word. If you need to go for a run, or need your fiancé to interrupt your downward stress spiral, communicate with them about it. Have an idea of what you can do for yourself and for your partner that'll help give you both some perspective.