Chrissy Teigen is never one to shy away from keeping it real. She's an open book and that's why so many of her fans love and relate to her. In an essay for Glamour, Teigen wrote about everything: her husband John Legend, their baby Luna, and her career. But more importantly, she shed light on something that affects so many women yet is rarely discussed—her diagnosis of postpartum depression. "I had everything I needed to be happy," she wrote. "And yet, for much of the last year, I felt unhappy."
The model, who is beloved for being both hilarious and very open, revealed her struggle as a new mom. "What basically everyone around me—but me—knew up until December was this: I have postpartum depression," she revealed. "How can I feel this way when everything is so great? I've had a hard time coming to terms with that, and I hesitated to even talk about this, as everything becomes such a 'thing.' …But it's such a major part of my life and so, so many other women's lives."
Chrissy began by detailing her amazing relationship with John. "I have an incredible husband—John and I have been together for over 10 years," she began. "He has seen my success and failures; I've seen his. He has seen me at my worst, but I will say I don't think I have ever seen him at his. He's exactly compassionate, patient, loving, and understating as he seems." She then discussed her "energetic" pregnancy with Luna and how the song "Superfly" was playing when she gave birth.
But after Luna arrived, she explained, everything was different—whether it was going back to work at Lip Sync Battle or being unable to get out of bed. "Most days were spent on the exact spot on the couch and rarely would I muster up the energy to make it upstairs for bed," she explained. "John slept on the couch with me, sometimes four nights in a row. I started keeping robes and comfy clothes in the pantry so I wouldn't have to go upstairs when John went to work. There was a lot of spontaneous crying."
Chrissy didn't feel like herself, and when she went for a physical in December her doctor diagnosed her with postpartum depression and anxiety. "I remember being so exhausted but happy to know that we could finally get on the path of getting better. John has the same excitement. I started taking an antidepressant, which helped. And I started sharing the news with family and friends—I felt like everyone deserved an explanation, and I didn't know how else to say it other than the only way I know: just saying it. It got easier and easier to say it aloud every time."
As a first time mom, Chrissy said she didn't think something like this would ever happen to her—partly because of her "great life" and because no one really talks about it. "I'm speaking up now because I want people to know it can happen to anybody and I don't want people to who have it to feel embarrassed or to feel alone," she explained.
She has her family—John, Luna, and her mom—who helped her throughout it all. "John has been incredible over the last nine months, bringing me my medicine and watching horrible reality TV with me," she said. "More than anything, I will always have enough energy for Luna."