What It's Really Like to Be the Last of Your Friends to Get Married
For anyone who really wonders what it's like to be the last of your friends to get hitched, here is the uncensored truth.
What you never thought would happen has happened. You're the lone wolf, the one left standing in a metaphorical gym class when everyone else has already been picked. Somehow, in the years post college, every friend has managed to get married except for you. And while your smile is big and your Facebook filled with pics of friends and exotic vacations, what's going on inside your head can only be described as confusion. Here, we break down what it's really like.
Your weekends are spent as a third (sometimes 9th wheel).
It's a phenomenon that occurs in many circles around the world. Once one friend gets married, the others fall in line fast. For you this means your wing women have thrown you to the wolves so you might as well just go out with couples-if you want to get out of the house at all.
You're forced to make new friends.
You had a squad, there were many. But slowly they stranded you, one by one. Since all of your college friends moved to the same city after school, you had an instant network, plans were a given, and life was good. Now that this crew got outta dodge and headed straight to the 'burbs, suddenly you realize that you in fact don't have any other single friends. And this can only mean you need to make new ones, and the thought seems totally weird. Like should you wear a nametag? Do you just go up to another woman and introduce yourself? Why does this already feel like a bad date?
People try to set you up with anyone.
…that is, anyone left. Back in the day, people had single friends. And by single friends, they were actually eligible people who could form a sentence and even had some wit. Now, your friends are meeting random dudes at the deli counter while grocery shopping with their kids and handing out your number like it's a free cookie. And though you remain open, this does not mean you are open to someone just because they are human.
Your friends' kids are practically having kids.
Okay, so maybe that is an exaggeration, but there are offspring among them who are not in elementary school anymore, and this just makes you feel like your friends kids will probably get married before you do.
Everyone wonders, "why?" And so do you.
It's the familiar headshake, the shrug of disbelief that's written all over: "Why is she still single?" You've asked yourself the same question. Did you miss your chance? Should you have married your first serious boyfriend? And then the thought creeps in-is this what eligible guys are thinking when they meet you? Is the mere fact that you're still single making you undateable? To quote the immortal words of Charlotte York, "I've been dating since I was 15. I'm exhausted! Where is he?!"
Suddenly everyone in your life is a dating expert.
Here's a newsflash: Just because someone put a ring on your friend's finger does not mean she is now an authority on dating. Because the last time she was in the dating world, an app was something consumed before dinner. Thanks, but you don't need to try the hot "new" site she's suggested, because there might as well be one central command for dating sites/apps since the same people are on all of them and at this point you'd rather be home in your couch clothes cuddled up with your dog, watching Netflix than out on another bad date.
You remind yourself that it's not all doom and gloom.
In fact, it's pretty awesome that you can leave your dishes in the sink for days on end and keep your bed unmade. Because, you don't have to answer to anyone but yourself. And, when you jet off to all those exotic locales you post to Facebook, you realize just how free being single can be.