5 Things No One Tells You About Being a Bride
It's not all peonies and cake tastings.
You've dreamt about this day since you were little. All those times you snuck into your mom's closet to try on her wedding dress and that paper collage turned Pinterest board of flowers and cakes and wedded goodness you've been secretly keeping have helped prepare you. It's finally happening. You are the bride you'd always imagined you'd be and visions of tulle and buttercream dance in your head. While it's every bit as exciting as a Disney film (cue the singing animals), before you forgo all colors of the rainbow in favor of white from now on, know this: being a bride might not be as fairytale-like as it's cracked up to be. Before your fantasies are thwarted, take heed from these pearls of brides who've come before you.
"Wedding fund, what wedding fund?"
…says your father. While all these decades you assumed your parents were setting aside a nest egg for your wedding, because it's your wedding after all, they in fact needed every last penny to support your family, pay for years of your ice skating lessons, and send you to college. So said reserve growing exponentially in an offshore bank account was actually something you conjured up in your mind. Ouch!
Things are pricey, like #$%@^ expensive.
Visiting a wedding vendor and processing the figures they throw out to you is akin to a middle-of-the night wakeup call you never saw coming. Once you tell anyone you're planning a wedding, things get pricey, and the more conversations you have, the increases magically mount. So, maybe you won't be saying "I do" at a castle in Florence like Kimye...
Bridesmaids can be annoying.
You've asked your nearest and dearest to be front and center on your day, an honor they've been dreaming about, right? But every decision from the neckline of their dresses, the day the shower will happen, and the color of lipstick they'll wear to the wedding has been as painful as a presidential debate. The solution: Pop a bottle of champagne and watch all of those complaints suddenly stop.
You will get naked in front of strangers-a lot.
Whatever happened to the privacy of a dressing room? It's like everyone and their mother is measuring and scrutinizing and hoisting and tucking. When your seamstress says, "strip!" you drop trou on command.
You and your fiancé will argue.
Here, all this time you thought your S.O. was a "yes" man and now it's like he woke up from a brainwash and cares about the shape of your reception tables, the composition of your bouquet-even the color of your wedding day nail polish. Did some alien just invade the man formerly known as your fiancé and occupy his body? He suddenly has opinions and a lot of them. Don't worry he'll calm down after the wedding-and you will too.