I love you but not your taste.
You envision your girl getting married in a ballroom filled with red roses and servers pouring Champagne in crystal flutes. The bride pictures a lawn party with giant tissue-paper pom-poms and frosty pitchers of margaritas. The situation gets tricky if you're picking up all or part of the tab but ultimately, you should concede because it's not your wedding, it's hers. Instead of being critical, be proud that you raised a confident, independent woman who's not afraid to do things her own way, even if that means iguana-shaped menus and a mariachi band to serenade the crowd.
I want you and my FMIL to be friends.
Maybe not besties but more than just acquaintances. When you call to tell his mom what color dress you're wearing to the wedding, ask her to go to lunch or for a drink after work too. Your daughter is going to be part of this woman's family soon, and she'd love for you two to get to know each other and bond. You'll have plenty to chat about, like what incredible children you have. Ha!
If my FMIL ends up wearing the same color dress as you, it's okay.
The bride won't sweat it so neither should you; you won't look like twinsies anyway since you'll likely wear different dress styles and accessories. Focus on more interesting things that day, like catching up with family you haven't seen in awhile. Just don't stand next to each other in the family wedding portraits!
Before I have to ask, I'd like you and Dad to tell me if you're planning to help pay for the wedding.
The most awkward part of wedding planning is when the bride and groom talk money with their respective parents. They fear making their folks feel badly if they can't help out financially or asking them to name a specific amount. Since no one can plan a wedding without knowing their budget, you could make it easier on everyone by being honest ("we can't give you anything") or specific ("we'll contribute $5,000").
I can't invite all your friends to the wedding.
Just because you've been to a gazillon of your friends' kids weddings, don't assume all your friends will get invitations now that it's your turn to be the MOB. The bride has other ideas, namely that she doesn't want to run into strangers on her dance floor—that's why your doubles partner just won't cut it. How about inviting the gals over for lunch during your daughter's first postwedding visit home?