8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Invite Him Home for the Holidays
Whether you've been dating for six weeks, or six months, extending family holiday invites can be dicey in a new relationship. Good thing we have Gilda Carle, a relationship expert and author of Don't Bet on the Prince! to help you navigate the holiday season. Below are a few questions to ask before asking him fly cross country.
1. Do you know his dietary restrictions?
This may seem like a silly question at first, but we all know the holidays are really about stuffing ourselves with delicious food. What's more, we bond over food. So if your new beau is a vegan while your dad is known for roasting his own succulent pig, you better hope that this guy is a keeper so you can explain to your family why it's important that they respect his culinary beliefs.
2. What's his sense of decorum?
When the family gets together, everyone wants to be themselves. That means that your brothers may go on a fart joke rampage and it would be helpful if your guy gets that sense of humor. Likewise, if he drops the F-bomb in between sentences, your family may feel uncomfortable.
3. What's his holiday style?
If he's used to eating early then spending the rest of the day on the couch rooting for his favorite team, while your family spend the whole day in the kitchen prepping the meal together as a team for a 7-course dinner you're going to have one antsy fan on your hands.
4. Is he a social butterfly or an introvert?
You should have an idea about how he fares in social situations, especially those that involve new people. If you envision him jumping in your family's merriment-great! But, if you think he is going to stick to you like glue the whole night (or weekend) maybe wait until you introduce him to your family members individually before throwing him into a pool of relatives.
5. How will he react if your family is not like his?
Families come from all walks of life-meaning that not everyone has a college degree or a two-car garage. Anyone who is going to scoff because your mom puts out Cheeze Whiz on Ritz crackers instead of a charcuterie board better stay home-or be given a heads up. On the other hand, you also want him to be comfortable if your family lives in a mansion, while he comes from a humble upbringing.
6. How does he deal with a difference in opinion?
You should anticipate how he might react if the chit-chat turns to a more serious conversation involving politics, religion, and even current events. It's great if your guy is passionate about his values, just make sure he doesn't go on a defensive tirade to prove a point.
7. Can you trust him?
There might be an embarrassing situation (or two) during the holiday weekend-from those middle school photo albums to that story where you lost your pants. Be sure that you can trust him to keep these interactions private and keep mum if he hears family secrets.
8. How will he interpret this invitation?
Holidays with the fam are a big deal because such an invitation implies that you're taking this relationship seriously. Make sure you're on the same page. You wouldn't want to tell your mom that the nice guy she met on Christmas is really a jerk you never want to see again.