Brides everywhere, breath a collective sigh of relief: You don't have to do everything exactly the way your sister did it. And grooms, it's totally cool if you want to take the reins on the color palette. "There are lots of ways to plan a wedding, and you don't have to be an uber-organized superbride to pull it all off," says Molly Owens, CEO of Truity Psychometrics LLC, an online personality assessment resource. In fact, understanding your own quirks and talents can help you delegate and stay on task, without making yourself (and each other) crazy. Here, we breakdown how you and your groom can plan your wedding based on your personality type.
Know Your "Type"
Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) breaks people into 16 personality types based on unique combinations of four key dimensions. Though of course not everything about you can be summed up in one neat acronym, the profiles can offer insight on your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to planning the big day:
Extrovert or Introvert (E/I)
Are you outgoing or shy? "All other things being equal, Extroverts will tend to have larger weddings because they thrive in bigger groups of people," Owens says. "Introverts are more likely to shy away from being the center of attention and will usually feel more comfortable with an intimate wedding."
Sensing or Intuition (S/N)
Will you personalize your day with family or religious traditions, or with fresh, creative ideas? That's where S/N comes in, "with S's being more traditionalist and N's being more innovative," Owens says.
Feeling or Thinking (F/T)
Are you emotional or practical? "This dimension is interesting because we usually expect men to be the logical Thinkers and women to be the Feelers, but there are plenty of couples where this dynamic is reversed," Owens says.
Judging or Perceiving (J/P)
Will you set and stick to a strict wedding budget, or are you more comfortable dealing with flexible ranges? "Some people are naturally more spontaneous, seat-of-the-pants types. We call these people Perceiving types," Owens says. "On the other hand, people we call Judgers are more structured and organized. Calling them Judgers doesn't mean they're judgmental—just that they like to have decisions made and plans set." However, it's worth noting that weddings have a way of switching even the most laid-back types into planning mode.
Talk it Out
Hopefully you and your fiancé already know each other very well, but this may be the first time you work together on a project of this magnitude. Spend some time discussing your traits and confirming that you're on the same page about how you envision the event.
"For instance, if you know your beloved is an Introvert, being aware and sympathetic of the challenges of hosting a large event can really help your relationship grow through the process," Owens says. "There are a lot of opportunities for frustration during this time, but also a lot of chances for you to learn more about your partner. "
While talking, beware preconceived ideas: "Maybe you'll realize that the groom is the more artistic one [N] and thus should take the lead on colors, floral arrangements, and décor," Owens says.
Divide and Conquer
You know your strengths (and your fiancé's, too); now it's time to divvy up that "to do" list.
"Maybe one of you is the finance person [J] and should thus take over the budget, while the other is more tuned into relationships [F] and should be in charge of guest lists and seating charts," Owens says. Similarly, DIY divas (N) might love hand-making wedding favors and escort cards, while others would sooner pay a planner to do it (S). Owens suggests using your careers as a starting point: Your skills in the workplace are usually a good indicator of what you can do—and what you can't.
Of course, there will be tasks that both of you dread (read: stuffing envelopes), so try to be fair about how you split those things: "Maybe you both sit down, put on some great music, and hammer it out," Owens says. "Or maybe you can find another friend or family member to take it on! The most important thing is that you support one another to get through everything that needs to get done, and that no one gets stuck with all the boring stuff."
Keep Yourself Motivated
When it comes to completing that checklist, an effective motivator won't be the same for everyone. Sticking to a firm budget might be second nature to some, but others may like a little more flexibility. An organizational app like Todoist can help give those who are little more flexible some structure so they're less likely to go over-budget, Owens says.
Another handy trick: Learn to make your personality traits work for you. "If you're a procrastinator, you'll want to tap into your deeper sense of motivation for your wedding," Owens says. Ask yourself: What gets you the most excited about your wedding? Visualize what you're looking forward to, and use that thought to propel you through the process. "Maybe you're not excited about handwriting a billion invitations, but if you can picture your loved ones opening each envelope with anticipation and delight, the process will be less tedious."