There are a lot of things you can always count on happening at a wedding: the first kiss, the first dance, the best man's toast …. and a guest behaving badly. Blame it on the open bar, a missed social cue, or plain old ignorance, some guests just can't seem to get it together. Whether making a toast with TMI, wearing white (gasp!), or complaining about the food, these hall-of-shame faux pas should be duly noted, never done, and passed on to any potential offenders.
1. Text during the ceremony.
This should go without saying. Don't let the ding heard round the world in the middle of the vow recital be yours—unless of course you like the feel of 200 eyes boring into you like daggers. And no, we do not exaggerate.
2. Give a roast instead of a toast.
Save your raunchy toast for the bachelor or bachelorette party. No matter how close you are with the bride or groom, neither wants past indiscretions (like "that one time at band camp …") aired in front of Grandma!
3. Wear a white dress.
Trust there will be other occasions in life to wear that little white dress, but a wedding is not one of them. And just because it's beige, blush, off-white, or cream doesn't make it okay. Anything that's lighter than a primary color is white to a bride. Got it?
4. Complain about the food.
If what's about to come out of your mouth is anything other than a compliment, do not say it— because someone is always listening and will tell the couple. So even if your prime rib looks more like road kill, eat everything else around it; stuff it in your napkin if you have to—just don't diss it in public.
5. Get wasted.
An open bar is a great concept in theory, but it is not an excuse to take tequila shots like it's Spring Break. Read: This is a wedding, not a frat party. No good will come of you double fisting because you will quickly lose all sense of reason and could quite possibly lose your hold on the bride's chair during the Horah.
6. Get too crazy on the dance floor.
While the couple wants you to get up and have fun, cutting a rug is one thing, cutting a wall-to-wall carpet takes it to an inappropriate level. This is not the time to bust out your breakdancing moves or get all up in other people's personal space. Keep it classy and don't make people uncomfortable.