Your Ultimate Bridal Shower Checklist for Celebrating the Bride-to-Be

Leave no detail to chance with this comprehensive planning guide and timeline.

summer bridal shower ideas elevated bar decor
Photo:

Lauren Marks

Whether you're throwing a bridal shower all on your own or partnering with some of the bride's other friends and family members, hosting this pre-wedding party is an involved assignment—so it's important to enter the planning phase fully prepared.

Luckily, we're here to help. This handy guide walks you through everything you need to consider, prepare for, and accomplish before and during the bridal shower. From gathering the troops (you're going to need some help!) and compiling a guest list to setting a date and choosing a theme, we've covered everything that should be on your to-do list.

When you go into the planning process feeling confident, prepared, and totally up-to-speed, the bride—and her guests—will appreciate every detail.

6 Months Out

Brooklyn Grange rooftop event space
Isabelle Selby Photography

You can start thinking about a bridal shower as soon as bride-to-be says "Yes!"—but the real work begins about six months before the shower (or sooner, depending on how many out-of-town guests may need advance notice to make travel plans).

  • Decide who will host. Anyone can throw a shower in honor of the VIP, and there's no rule that reserves the "first right to host" for the mother of the bride, female family members, or bridesmaids. In fact, sometimes these parties are thrown by groups so that no one hostess has to cover the entire price tag. To take the lead, you simply need to raise your hand.
  • Confirm the budget. Set a time to talk funds with any family members, friends, or wedding party members who may want to help with costs. "Before making any set shower plans, it's always good to know who's contributing and how much you collectively plan to spend," says Ashley Mason, the founder and lead planner of Saunter Weddings. "You can very easily blow through a budget if you're not tracking your numbers."
  • Check in with the bride. While many bridal showers have elements that are a surprise for the guest of honor, you should check in with bride on a few key details: Who she wants to invite, any venue ideas, traditions she imagines including (or not). "Talk with the guest of honor in the first month of planning and see what they're comfortable with," says Mason.
  • Narrow down your dates. Most bridal showers take place one to three months before the wedding. When choosing the day that might work best for your party, consider potential weather issues, especially if you're hoping to host outside; the travel needs of out-of-town guests; and the time of day. "Don't go so crazy trying to please everyone that you lose sight of the event itself," says planner Jacin Fitzgerald, . "As long as the bride and the VIPs (family, bridal party, etc.) are able to attend, the party will go on."
  • Choose a venue. To fully decide on a venue, you'll need a guest count, a date, and a budget. But during this timeframe, you and the other hosts can brainstorm and research locations. "Think about the style you're going for and then pinpoint a space that best suits it," Mason adds. This could be a casual backyard affair, an elevated at-home brunch, or a more formal tea at a hotel or restaurant. If you choose to host at home, says Emily Reno of Weddings and Events by Emily, the money you save can be allocated to other elements of the shower, including a caterer and decorations.
  • Consider a planner. Depending on the size and style of event you have in mind, it may be helpful to hire a planner. "Having a reputable planner to help your host with the planning and logistics (and sometimes even the décor) ensures a good time is had by all, even the ones throwing the event," says Fitzgerald. If the host has hesitations about timelines, tracking RSVPs, or who's in charge of what, a planner will help this person stay on track.

3 to 4 Months Out

kara bridal shower wraps food buffet
Stewart Uy Photography
  • Finalize the guest list. The bride will often provide a guest list for each shower held in her honor; the only guests invited to more than one should be the immediate family of the couple, and the wedding attendants. Everyone invited to the shower should be invited to the wedding, but the shower can be a smaller, more intimate guest list.
  • Decide on a theme. Your venue may have already determined your bridal shower theme—a garden party, a high tea, a wine tasting—but if not, confirm an aesthetic and color palette that you can use to inspire the invitations. Build from the bride's preferences, and seek her input as necessary, but leave some element of surprise.
  • Set a dress code. If you choose to define a dress code, keep it simple: Request that guests wear floral prints, their pastel best, all white, or similar easy-to-source fashions that make a statement without adding stress or expense.
  • Plan the menu. This is also the time to nail down the delicious food and drinks you will serve at the event. If you're hosting at a restaurant, begin looking over the menu options; if you're holding the event at home, decide what you'll buy, prepare, or have catered. "If it is a brunch-style shower multiple food stations or a brunch buffet might be fitting," says Reno. "If it is a nighttime affair a sit-down meal may make more sense. I am finding that women at showers tend to love small plates and heavy hors d'oeuvres."

2 Months Out

wicker chairs brunch party table setting
Jen Rodriguez
  • Decide on decor. The first step to choosing decorations, says Jill LaFleur of LaFleur Weddings, is to establish how much you're willing to spend on dressing up your location. Then consider custom details, like photo backdrops, personalized signage, centerpieces, and other decorative elements.
  • Order and send invitations. Ensure bridal shower invitations are placed in the mail six to eight weeks ahead of the event, explains Mason; these notes should give guests an idea of what to expect and offer crystal-clear information. "There seems to always be one or two guests who mistake the bridal shower for the bachelorette party," she shares. She also suggests driving guests to the bride-to-be's registry by adding her wedding website to the cards. "It can't hurt to list [the] gift registry, so no one shows up with intimates while everyone else brings housewares."
  • Choose your favors. When selecting favors for your bridal shower, Nora Sheils of Bridal Bliss suggests picking a practical or consumable item in the $5 range. Some of her favorite ideas? Mini bottles of Champagne, macarons, chocolates, and even donuts. However, she has seen some hosts think out of the box by contributing to a charity of the bride's choice.
  • Ask for help. If you anticipate hiring a florist, caterer, bar service, or rental company, reach out to potential vendors. You can also request help from family members, says Fitzgerald. "Whether it's asking Aunt Mae to bring her famous breakfast casserole or Grandma to make a cheesecake, people want to get involved somehow," she says. "If you divvy up the menu, you can save money on the food and allow more money to be spent on décor or favors."

1 Month Out

women toasting with cocktails
Mariel Hannah Photography
  • Plan the toasts. If you're acting as the bridal shower's host, you might want to consider giving a toast as everyone gathers around for the meal. These speeches (like those given on the wedding day) should be kept short and heartfelt. Other people who may want to consider saying a few words? The maid of honor, the mother of the bride, the mother of the groom, and the bride herself.
  • Choose the games. Select a few fun activities—a cocktail competition or a game of true or false are unexpected and engaging bridal shower games—to help connect guests who may not know each other.
  • Add other activities. If your bride isn't the game type, Reno suggests getting creative. "I'm seeing less traditional bridal shower games and more interactive activities," she explains. "My brides are loving photo backdrops, lounge seating, make-your-own cocktail bars, and are hiring professional photographers."

2 Weeks Out

floral bridal shower invitation
Ether and Smith
  • Confirm the RSVPs. If you're missing any responses, now is the time to track down replies that may have gotten lost in the mail so you can confirm your seating needs, menu quantities, and other details.
  • Check in with vendors. Once you have your final numbers, confirm your guest count and day-of timeline with your rental service, caterer, dessert chef, and any other vendors.
  • Put together a playlist. A custom set of songs can enhance any bridal shower, whether you're using instrumental versions of the bride's favorite Taylor Swift songs or going for a French lounge vibe. "Don't forget music to fit the theme and add to the ambiance!" says LaFleur.

The Week Of

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Raymond Hom
  • Prepare the favors. If your favors need to be made, wrapped, or tagged, spend time before the event prepping them for the big day instead of leaving any DIY projects for the last minute.
  • Stock up on thank-you notes. Make sure you have thank-you cards to send to anyone who helped put the shower together—and grab a set for the bride to send in gratitude for her gifts.
  • Make a schedule. Create a detailed timeline for the day before the party and the day-of, including time set aside for cleaning (if you're hosting at home) and food preparation; deliveries of flowers, tables, or chairs; what time guests will arrive; and an idea of when during the shower you'll serve the meal, open gifts, and offer dessert. Most showers last three to four hours, say the experts.

The Day Before

rifle paper co. floral bridal shower bar cart
Abby Cox
  • Set up. If you're hosting at your home or someone else's, do as much as you can the day before. Place tables and chairs; lay out plates, flatware, and serving pieces on food service tables; set up a self-serve beverage station; and hang decorations or signs.
  • Pack up. If your event is being held at a hotel or restaurant, pack and double-check the items you need to bring on the day-of: Favors, signage, centerpieces, a decoration for the guest of honor's chair, materials for games, photos of the couple, and any other important custom elements.

The Day Of

sally bridal shower group photo in front of desserts
Donna Lam Photography
  • Coordinate with vendors. Be prepared to answer questions from your on-site contact, field deliveries at home, and oversee the general setup of your event. Keep a list of vendor contact information on your phone (or on a printed sheet that other hosts can reference, to) in case of a last-minute "Where are they?!" emergency
  • Track the gifts. This doesn't have to be the job of the host, but it's important for someone to keep a spreadsheet of gifts the bride receives—and from whom—to make her thank-you note project that much easier.
  • Celebrate! After all the work you've put into preparing a perfect day for one of your favorite people, take a few moments to savor the love, joy, and excitement of the party—without stressing about small details that might go awry. "If everyone is having a good time and is comfortable, it will be a completely successful event," says Fitzgerald.
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