The Ultimate Wedding Ceremony Checklist

It's always fun to focus on flowers and favors, but don't put off preparing for the main event. From music and readings to vows and officiants, there's a lot to plan before saying "I do," and it's easy to get overwhelmed without a little help.

Ahead, a comprehensive guide through the basics you need to know, from aisle etiquette to making the ceremony your own. Here's how to turn the moment that officially makes him yours forever into one you'll always remember. Trust us, it'll be worth all the planning!

Choosing an Officiant

"You may now kiss the bride." It's not a done deal until those words are uttered—the question is, by whom? The options are many, from traditional to offbeat. Whatever you decide, aim for a face-to-face meeting at least three months prior to your day. Getting to know your officiant even a little bit will make their delivery more personal.

Want to combine a Catholic prayer, a Buddhist blessing, and a Jewish observance? Or maybe you're not into organized religion, but want your day to feel spiritual. This is the route to take. The fee could range from a few hundred dollars to more than $1,000, depending on how much planning is involved on the officiant's end.

Creating an order of events means hammering out every detail of the ceremony, so it's smart to begin early. On the following slides are primers on four types of celebrations, plus music, readings, and rituals to consider incorporating. And remember: this is just a starting point—your event will be as personal as you make it.

The rundown:

Hymn

Opening prayer

Old Testament reading

Psalm

New Testament reading

Gospel

Homily

Vows and ring ceremon

Lord's Prayer

Sign of Peace

Communion

Blessing

Typical length: One hour. Want it shorter? Have your choir recite prayers instead of singing them to save about 10 minutes.

Added touch: You can ask your priest to add the Prayer of the Faithful as a significant way to honor family members who have passed.

Your selections should reflect you as a couple. Keep them under 90 seconds, and limit yourself to three, max. A few good ideas:

1. Involve special friends or family in the ceremony by asking them to read.

2. If you love travel, use a section from Dr. Seuss's Oh, the Places You'll Go!

3. Major music lovers? Share the lyrics of a song you both find meaningful.

4. If you started out long-distance, select a passage from your first missives.

The vows you swap at the altar will go down as the most important conversation you and your groom ever have in public. Here's how to make sure it's worth the weight.

The traditional vows from the Anglican Communion's Book of Common Prayer have been adapted over time, but more than four centuries later, they're still the most popular. Use them as is, or work the general sentiments into vows you script yourself.

"I, (bride/groom), take you (groom/bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward till death do us part."

Find a pen, paper, and some alone time, and follow this advice for getting to the heart of the matter:

The beginning: Jot down a love letter to your fiance. Don't think about it too much—just write honestly and try not to edit yourself.

The middle: Note all the things he has offered you while dating, such as support, space, or unconditional love.

The end: Write a promise that you would like to make for your marriage. If you have trouble with this, consider the most common stressors you encounter in your relationship. Do you spend too much time at work and not enough hours together? If so, vow to prioritize your fiance. Or, if you tend to shut down when you argue, pledge to remain open and present even during times of difficulty.

Keep order—or don't. the wedding march traditionally starts with the bride's mother. Modify as needed to suit your group. (As for the recessional, the newly married couple walk back up the aisle, followed by the groomsmen escorting bridesmaids.)

1. Mother of the bride

2. Groomsmen

3. Best man

4. Groom

5. Officiant

6. Bridesmaids

7. Maid/matron of honor

8. Flower girl and ring bearer

9. Father of the bride and the bride

Your hosting duties commence as soon as your guests arrive for the service. Get folks settled into their seats with ease, and establish a festive mood straightaway.

Consider your location—is it warm or cold? Is inclement weather on the way? Rather than thinking, "Oh, it's just 20 minutes, they can grin and bear it," do whatever you can to help them acclimate. A thoughtful suggestion: Provide hot cider on a cool day or ice-cold lemonade for a summer affair.

Don't forget to have the greeters and ushers join the rehearsal. Explain where you'd like the programs to be handed out and how people should be seated.

Don't make the ceremony standing-only if it's going to last more than 10 minutes. Remember, people might arrive early, so they could be on their feet for longer than you think.

Don't keep your guests waiting. A few minutes is understandable, but more than 20, and they'll be tapping their feet and likely frowning.