How to be an awesome attendant from the minute you get asked.

By Nancy Mattia
October 08, 2019

You weren't surprised when your he asked you to be his best man. What did surprise you was how little you know about the role, except that you had to plan an incredible bachelor party. Have no fear—there are only a few other key duties you've got to fulfill. Here's what they are and how to do an amazing job of them.

Related: Things No One Tells You About Being a Best Man

Support the groom.

The bride has the reputation of being the one who needs emotional support during the engagement period—especially in the hectic days before the wedding—but plenty of grooms feel stressed out, too. That's where you come in. Listen to what he's concerned about, offer reassurance or guidance, meet up to talk over a drink or shoot some hoops to calm his jitters. He'll appreciate the attention you're giving him and not just texting, "Don't worry, bro."

Wrangle the groomsmen.

Yep, someone's got to manage the guys and it's you. You'll want to remind them to make an appointment to get their tuxedoes fitted or suits ordered, get new shoes if needed, make any travel plans for the bachelor party, and whatever else they need to do on their own. Send them a wedding-day schedule that lists where and when they've got to be somewhere. Go the extra mile and follow up with them.   

Plan the bachelor party.

Ask the other groomsmen to help you come up with ideas. Do something the groom would like, whether it's attending a sporting event or having dinner at a steakhouse with pals. A strip club visit may or may not be his thing, so before you and the guys start collecting small bills for tips, ask him if this is what he had in mind.

Attend the rehearsal.

This is your chance to practice walking down the aisle (slowly but with a natural gait) and figure out where you're supposed to stand at the altar.

Carry the rings.

Put the bride's and groom's wedding rings in your jacket pocket, not your pants pocket. Once the rings are secure, pat down occasionally to make sure they're still there. You'll hand them off to the groom at vow time.

Deliver a killer speech.

You don't need to be a professional speechwriter to come up with a reception toast that hits a home run. It should be equal parts informational, sentimental, and funny. Don't talk for more than two minutes or you'll lose the audience.

Dance with the bridesmaids—even if you can't dance.

It'll be much more fun than watching everyone having a good time from the sidelines.

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