A graceful, fluid dance is a sweet metaphor for a good marriage. It looks effortless, but it actually takes practice, patience, and passion to get it just right. You will have a lifetime to work on your relationship but probably just a few months to plan your first wedding dance. Where to begin?

Start by thinking about the mood you want to set as you step out for your spin on the dance floor: Will it be tender, joyful, sentimental, vivacious, or lighthearted? What you desire can usually be evoked in a particular style of dance or by a single, meaningful song. You may select one first, then the other, or choose the dance and song together.

Many couples know right away that they want to do a traditional ballroom dance. The perennial favorites for weddings are the romantic waltz and the genteel fox-trot. The waltz is marked by turning movements and is danced to music of the same name (one familiar waltz is "Someday My Prince Will Come"). The fox-trot is a combination of slow and quick steps executed by smooth, gliding motions. It can be danced to any number of musical styles, ranging from ragtime to Big Band jazz to fifties rock n' roll. Most beginners can learn the basics of either dance in a few hours, but you'll need additional time and practice to become confident with the steps.

A formal ballroom dance is not the only option -- you can choose something less conventional that reflects your personalities or interests. For instance, instructor Debbie Ramsey-Boz, who owns Mad About Dance Academy, in Raleigh, North Carolina, says that each year several couples come to her to learn the Carolina shag -- a regional favorite often done to beach music -- for their weddings. Swing dances, the tango, and the merengue are other popular choices.

If you are inexperienced in the dance style you want to do or just need a bit of help choreographing some moves, a qualified dance instructor is a valuable resource. Teddy Kern, co-owner and artistic director of Dance Manhattan, a ballroom, swing, and Latin studio in New York City, says, "The best way to find a teacher is to get a recommendation from someone who has taken lessons with good results." Another way to find an instructor whose style suits you is to take a trial class or private lesson.