After walking down the aisle at her 2000 wedding in Woodstock, New York, Yvetta Fedorova took her place next to Scott Menchin, her husband-to-be. They were about to exchange vows that they had each written for the ceremony but they hadn't yet shared with each other. Yvetta, who grew up in Russia, recited hers in the form of a string of off-beat promises to Scott that referred to their lives together as well as their differences: "I will be yours in sunshine and in rain . . . in war and in peace . . . in English and in Russian." When she finished, Scott, an American, slipped a card out of his pocket and read his vows in Russian. This came as an amazing surprise to Yvetta, and it was "the most romantic thing he ever could have done," she says.

The most common Western wedding ceremony originated with the Romans: Together, the bride and groom pledged their lives to each other in a stark verbal ceremony. Today, a legal marriage in most states requires a license, officiant, witness, and verbal contract. But that doesn't have to mean the traditional "I dos."

Many couples, like Yvetta and Scott, want to personalize their ceremony by writing their own vows or at least modifying the familiar phrases. Cantor Helene Reps of White Plains, New York, who performs Jewish ceremonies, believes that couples should not only be able to express personal vows but that they should be encouraged to do so. "They should think about why they are marrying each other, what they love about one another, and how they envision their marriage," Reps says. She believes that for the couple, the exchange of vows is the most important moment in the ceremony. Martha Stewart Weddings Editor Darcy Miller agrees; she and her husband, Andrew Nussbaum, wrote their vows for their May 2001 wedding in New York City. "You spend all this time planning the details of the wedding," she says. "But the vows are really what it's all about. The true meaning of the whole celebration is in the two minutes when you commit yourselves to each other."

Real Couples' Vows