Nearly every aspect of planning a wedding tosses up one choice after another, so it may come as a relief to recognize that there is one custom no one has to debate: Every gift must be acknowledged with a personal, handwritten thank-you note. Preprinted or typed notes won't do. And even the most enthusiastic phone call, while it may be welcome, can't replace a written acknowledgment.

If you receive one hundred gifts, you can plan to write that many notes. Gifts will begin to arrive as soon as you announce your engagement, so you'll want to be prepared. Think about what you want your notes to say, both aesthetically and literally. These, after all, will most likely be your first expression of yourselves as a couple, and the details deserve careful consideration: What kind of paper is appropriate for the occasion? Whose initials or names go on the stationery? Who writes the notes? Who signs them? What, and how much, do you say? What is the acceptable time lapse between receiving a gift and sending a note expressing your gratitude?

Start with the foundation of a thank-you note -- the paper. Selecting a style of writing paper has become simpler in recent years, according to Joy Lewis, the owner of the New York City stationer Mrs. John L. Strong. "Handwritten correspondence has come to be used for ceremony and presentation only -- thanking and inviting," she says. "Otherwise everyone uses the computer or the telephone."

There are two common formats for thank-you notes: a stiff five-by-seven-inch card on which the correspondent can write on both sides, or an "informal," a small fold-over card typically about four-by-five inches. The informal may be engraved quite formally; its name comes from the placement of the fold at the top, in contrast to formal correspondence, such as wedding invitations, which fold at the side like a book.

Contemporary
As an alternative to formal thank-yous, paper can be trimmed with bold colored borders, engraved with nontraditional typestyles, or embossed with whimsical emblems. An informal (top left) is embossed with a single initial. The fine quality of the lined envelope and bordered card (bottom left) compensates for it not being personalized. A couple's names are letterpressed in green ink (top right). A bee emblem (center right) separates the bride and groom's embossed initials. An informal (bottom right) is decorated with a pear.