6. In lieu of six toasters, you'd prefer money for a down payment on a house.
"You can never ask for money," Naylor says. Your mothers and your maid of honor may, if asked for gift ideas, let guests know you're planning to buy a house and you would love something that would prepare you for your future home. But whether people choose to give you a check or a set of socket wrenches is completely up to them.

7. Your maid of honor is less than enthused.
You could "fire" her, but it'll likely end your friendship, so try talking to her first. You may end up cutting her some slack. "She might be so overwhelmed with work or life issues that her wedding duties are taking a back seat," says Mac Adam. "Another option is to let her step down of her own accord. You could say, 'I don't want to force you to do anything that makes you unhappy, so please let me know if you're not up for this. I won't hold it against you.' "

8. You're inviting friends from work to the wedding. But you'd rather not invite your boss.
"It all depends on the size and location of the wedding and the size of your department," says Mac Adam. If you're throwing an intimate destination wedding, it's unlikely that your boss would be insulted to be left off the guest list. But if you're throwing a rather large affair and work at a small organization, it's polite -- not to mention smart politics -- to invite the head honcho. "A courtesy invitation can't hurt," explains Mac Adam. "And your boss will be happy to have been thought of." Finally, don't worry that it will be seen as a ploy to score a present; most managers, regardless of whether they've been invited, give wedding gifts to their employees who marry.

9. You know exactly how you want everything to look at your wedding -- including your bridesmaids. You'd like to dictate their entire outfits, down to the earrings and hairstyles, but you anticipate resistance.
It's fine if you want to direct the aesthetics of your wedding; it's not if you end up tyrannizing. Your bridesmaids are not your subjects. "Consider narrowing down your preferences to two or three choices, taking varying budgets and body types into consideration," counsels Bussen. "Then ask your bridesmaids to make the final decision. This gives everyone the satisfaction of having participated in the process." If you insist that they wear a uniform accessory (a particular style of shoes or a certain pair of earrings), "you should probably pay for those items yourself and make a gift of them," Bussen says.

10. You don't like your fiance's old college drinking buddy and are worried that he'll ask him to be his best man.
In this case, the decision is not yours to make. "Best friends are almost like family," Post says. "How would you feel if your fiance didn't want your best friend as your maid of honor?" For the sake of your marriage, try to learn to appreciate his closest pal. "After all, this person has probably been a part of your groom's life for a long time -- and is likely going to continue to be," Post says. If you still want to persuade your groom not to ask him to be in the wedding party, discuss with your fiance other ways of including his friend, such as asking him to do a reading (of your choosing, of course) at the ceremony.