If you choose to include names on your invitations, the most complicated question becomes whose. Divorces, deaths, and family estrangements all make the wording tricky. Use your instincts and good taste if your family relationships are complicated. If, for example, your father has passed away and your mother is the host, her name is the only one that is necessary on the invitation. However, many people feel strongly about including a deceased parent. In this case, the wording should be phrased so that it is clear the deceased parent is not issuing the invitation: "The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of [your name], daughter of [your mother's name] and the late [your father's name]." Or, let's say your parents are divorced, your father is remarried, and all of the above are hosts. Always start with your mother's name, then your father's and stepmother's on a separate line, and have them invite guests "to the marriage of [your name]" -- not the marriage of their daughter, since you are not the daughter of all three hosts. The wording should reflect your particular situation, however. If your stepmother raised you, and if your birth mother has a less significant role in your life, you may include only your father and stepmother, using the words "their daughter."

By convention, ceremonies held in a church or synagogue "request the honour of your presence," reflecting the solemnity of the ritual, and those at a hotel or home use the warmer "pleasure of your company." But there's nothing inappropriate about wording the invitation to reflect your own personality or to suit your occasion. A wedding on the beach, for instance, might invite guests to "participate in the feast and festivity of the occasion."

Fortunately, none of the other decisions about your invitations will involve so much tap dancing as the host line or involve as many possibilities as the request line. You will want to consider how the two of you would like to be presented and whether just your names will suffice or whether you will want to include your titles; traditionally, the groom's name is preceded by "Mr." while the bride's name stands alone.