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The Engagement: First Things First

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The Engagement: First Things First

Amid all of the excitement in the weeks surrounding your engagement, there are a few tasks you'll want to take care of right away. Here, five must-dos and, most important, how to have a good time accomplishing them.

Start Spreading the News
You may want to let people in on your engagement as soon as the ring is slipped on your finger. Or you might want to keep the moment private a bit longer. However you share the information, even if you veer from tradition, you should tell your parents first, then other family and friends. You'll make phone calls of course, but you can also send email, or have cards printed. You could even throw a party (and no, you don't have to invite everyone on the engagement-party guest list to the wedding). Have fun with it: Turn photos of the two of you holding a "We're engaged" sign into table decorations or posters. After his girlfriend, Andrea LaBonte, accepted his proposal, Dennis Talley of New York City took her to a surprise engagement party he'd planned for that night. Friends and family gathered but didn't know why. "When I walked in, friends asked why they were there, and I just kept saying, 'I'm engaged! I'm engaged!'" says Andrea. To inform casual acquaintances, consider a newspaper announcement.

Discuss a Date
Once the word is out, expect lots of questions, including "When are you getting married?" Reveal a date if you have one, or let curious friends know plans are in the works -- as they should be, especially if you want to hold your wedding at a popular time of year, such as June or over a holiday. Locations, photographers, caterers, and other professionals book up early, sometimes a year in advance. Keri Rubinstein, of Middletown, New Jersey, had her date and venue set within one month of her engagement. "Dave and I wanted to get married at a place that was intimate, surrounded by beautiful grounds, and convenient for our families," she says. "The sooner we decided on a date, the better chance we'd have of getting the place we wanted."

Think About the Big Picture
Envision the type of wedding you both want -- maybe it's the event of childhood dreams or one that reflects your grown-up tastes. For Andrea and Dennis Talley, it was important to incorporate their Friday-night tradition of drinking Champagne into their wedding. "Champagne influenced everything from our invitations to our drinks menu. We even held the wedding on a Friday night," says Andrea. Let your imagination run free.

Even if you are set on a formal event in a ballroom, considering other possibilities, such as a seaside ceremony or a Sunday brunch, may change your mind or reinforce your choice. The same holds true for selecting the time of day and mood of the wedding. Kathryn Ackerman and her fiance, Jason Kislak, originally wanted to have their wedding on a Caribbean island. "Once we started sharing our idea, we realized not everyone could attend," says Kathryn. "Since it was more important to us to be surrounded by loved ones, we decided to have the wedding in Florida and add tropical details like a steel-drum band and seashell decorations."

Prior to making any decisions, figure out what you have to spend and whether your families will contribute. Make sure you and your fiance are in agreement about your priorities before talking to your parents about budget and logistics.

Register for Gifts
Surprising as it may seem, as soon as people find out about your impending nuptials, presents will start flowing in. It's never too early to register, not only to help ensure you get something you like and need, but also to make it easier on friends and family who are pondering what to purchase. Even if you don't select everything right away, at least go to one store and decide on some things for your list. You can always add more later and register at other stores. Try to limit your registry to three places. This way, it'll be easier to manage. And, in case you don't get everything you put down, many stores will keep your registry active for as long as a few years.

Insure Your Ring
You may never want to take off your priceless new treasure, but realistically, you'll have to at times. It's a good idea to talk to an insurance agent about coverage in case the stones or the ring itself ever need to be repaired or replaced.

You will first need an appraisal by a certified independent gemologist; most jewelers will provide this service upon purchase. And make sure you understand all the terms of the policy. Find out whether you are covered if the ring is lost, stolen, or damaged, and what stipulations there are, if any. If the ring is damaged, does the company give you a check so you can have it repaired by the jeweler of your choice, or do you have to use one of their jewelers? You'll also want to know how long the claims process takes.

You might be able to add a jewelry rider to your existing homeowner's or renter's policy; if not, set up a separate policy. And, most important, take very good care of your ring -- when you're wearing it and when you're not -- because that's the best insurance of all.

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