Black tie is the most formal of the wedding dress codes (other than white tie, which is rare)—and it often gets an undeserved groan when guests spot it on a wedding invite. Although the phrase "black-tie wedding" generally refers to the expected attire, that's not all it indicates about the big day. Generally speaking, it's a sign that the couple will likely be hosting a more formal, traditional ceremony and reception.
While your first reaction may be, "But I have nothing to wear!" the fun of dressing up in your most formal attire—whether owned or rented—can end up making the event even more memorable. "It is the opposite of our day-to-day life. It gives us an exciting event to go to and [an opportunity to] feel great about ourselves," says Jackie Avrumson, a bridal stylist based in New York. "A black-tie wedding is your chance to be the most elevated version of yourself."
What Is the Black Tie Dress Code?
Traditionally, a black-tie dress code denotes a formal evening occasion, where men are meant to wear tuxedos and women, floor-length gowns. "The atmosphere is a more formal vibe," says Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert. "When a person calls for black tie, that is the standard they are attempting to create for the attendees."
Black Tie Preferred
Couples who find black-tie a bit too strict might host a "black-tie attire preferred" affair, which ever-so-slightly loosens things up; you're likely to see more dark, formal suits and cocktail dresses, though plenty of guests will still dress in their black-tie best.
If you're not sure whether your chosen attire is formal enough, Avrumson recommends this question: Can I wear this to a semi-formal party, or would this be overdone? "If it's overdone, then you're in the black-tie zone," she says.
Traditional Black Tie for Men
A classic tuxedo, the default attire for menswear at a black-tie wedding, consists of:
- Satin-lapel dinner jacket
- Pants with a satin stripe on the leg
- Formal white button-down shirt (often with French cuffs)
- Black bow tie
- Patent leather or velvet oxfords or loafers
- Silk pocket square
- Cuff links
Suspenders are optional, "though they make a cute fashion statement when you take off the jacket," says Avrumson.
Modern Black Tie for Men
While a tuxedo is still the preferred menswear option for a black-tie event, you can also don a dark suit or trade the bow tie for a long tie in a dark color (ideally black!).
If you do opt for a tuxedo, you can get a little creative. "A tuxedo doesn't necessarily have to be black, nor does the jacket have to match the pants," says Avrumson. "We are now seeing the groom in navy, maroon, green, and patterned tuxedo jackets, and they are being re-worn at their friends' black-tie weddings."
Traditional Black Tie for Women
Black-tie attire for women traditionally indicated a floor-length gown in a formal fabric, like silk charmeuse, chiffon, or Mikado, embellished with Alencon lace, embroidery, or crystals, says Avrumson. "The silhouette can be anything between a sheath and a ballgown," she says.
Appropriate accessories included stiletto heels, "high-end jewelry" (think precious gems—not your everyday chains), and a formal purse. "A proper evening clutch [is] made of satin, patent leather, or a fabric that matches exactly to your shoes or dress," Avrumson says.
Modern Black Tie for Women
The level of formality hasn't changed—you still need that fancy bag, heeled shoes, and your best jewelry. But the colors, cuts, and silhouettes that women don for black-tie affairs vary widely. The modern black-tie dress code for women calls for taking more fashion risks, says Avrumson. Instead of the conservative black gowns that were the standard for years, "now we are seeing bolder colors such as hot pink, yellow, and metallics, high slits, low backs, and plunging V-necklines," she says.
When choosing black-tie attire, Swann points out that not every cut and style provides the formality—and respect—indicated by the dress code; steer clear of gowns that are too revealing. "Usually when a person requests black tie, they expect you to be somewhat covered," she says. "That doesn't mean you can't have a V-neck or spaghetti straps, but when you have cutouts along the bodice, you're going into a different type of attire."
Black Tie for Kids
An event that's formal enough for a black-tie dress code is typically geared toward adults, but if your kids scored an invite, they'll need fancy attire, too. "For little boys, it’s best to purchase or rent a tuxedo just like the men—and they look so adorable!" says Avrumson. "For little girls, we would usually see Mary Jane shoes, tights, and a dress with a puffy skirt. It’s most important that their hair is tied up in a bun or ponytail."