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Which Family Members Should Have a Say in Your Wedding Guest List?

The actual number of influencers is short and sweet.

Contributing Writer
wedding parents
Photography by: Tec Petaja

It's fair to say that putting together the guest list is one of the most nerve-racking jobs associated with planning a wedding. You want to include all the family and friends you care about, but that list can be very long. And—shock!—you'll find that plenty of people will make suggestions about who they think should get an invite. But which family members really should have a say? We outline the players.

 

Tips for Putting Together a Wedding Guest List

 

The Bride and Groom

Since it's your wedding, the main organizers of the guest list should be the two of you. But since a wedding isn't just about the bride and groom, let others in on the action, too. Traditionally the bride and groom get 50 percent while the bride's parents and groom's parents each get 25 percent. It gets trickier when the parents are helping to finance the wedding. Give them a heads up so that everyone knows what to expect.

 

The Bride's Parents

The two people who raised you should have a say in who should be invited. Maybe your mom's best friend isn't a close confidante of yours but she means a lot to Mom. Same with your dad's golf buddies. Or the neighbors who've lived next door to your folks for decades. So if you have to remove your former Zumba pals who you haven't seen in two years from the list, so be it.

 

The Groom's Parents

They might not be paying for the wedding—though they're likely contributing—but these two folks should be given a certain number of guest spots. They have important people in their lives too who they want to celebrate this milestone in their son's life with.

 

Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Your Third Cousins

Nope. They may suggest names, but they don't have a significant say.

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About the Author

Nancy Mattia

Though Nancy has been writing about weddings for years, she admits that watching a bride walk down the aisle—even on TV—still makes her tear up. The New York-area writer's other favorite wedding moments are when the groom sees the bride for the first time, hearing the toasts, and when she sees a waiter with a tray full of hors d'oeuvres walking towards her. 

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