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This Is Why Your Mom Is So Obsessed with Planning Your Wedding

Don't worry. You're not the first bride to experience this.

mother of bride
Photography by: Aaron Delesie

Does your mom have you feeling a little overwhelmed? Don't worry, you're not the only one to experience the phenomenon of your mother taking on the entire wedding planning process as if it's her own. It's fairly common for the mother of the bride to feel it's her duty, right, and responsibility to plan her daughter's wedding. As a result, she may be letting other priorities fall aside as she becomes consumed with your big day. Take heart, there are a few reasons this happens.

 

How to Lower Your Mom's Wedding-Planning Stress Level

 

She wants you to have a magical, unforgettable night.

The primary reason for any mom's wedding fixation is that she wants the absolute best for her daughter. Sure, that may seem a little "off" when she's ranting and raving about the quality of calligraphy and paper thickness, but it's a helpful thing to keep in mind so she doesn't drive you crazy in the process.

 

Her mom probably planned her wedding with the same fervor.

Times have changed and brides these days tend to be in the driver's seat of all wedding-related decision. But it hasn't always been this way. Most likely, your grandmother planned your mom's wedding, and her mother did the same before that. Fortunately for you, technology has advanced quite rapidly since your mom's time, and events have become easier to organize, budget for, and plan. If you're finding that your mom's stress level is really high due to lack of knowing "what she's supposed to do," or how best to manage her time, you might want to look into arming her with the right tools, books, and apps that can help.

 

She may be worried about what guests will think.

A wedding can be a really stressful event for a family, especially if it's their first time hosting. Your mom's friends and family (along with a whole lot of other people she doesn't know) will be looking to your family to welcome them to this celebratory event. This isn't something that comes naturally to every mom. She might be really nervous about what people will think about your family, about your fiancé, about how she looks, about how you look, the list goes on and on. The best you can do in this case is brush it off and remind your mom that everyone attending your wedding thinks the world of you and your family, otherwise they wouldn’t have been invited in the first place.

 

She's used to being the hostess.

The matriarch of every family is probably used to being the primary hostess, so it's no surprise that she's looking at your wedding in much the same light. While it may seem to you like your mom's being a bit of a control freak, it may just be that she's not used to seeing you take the hostess reins. If you recognize this to be the issue, you might select one thing that she can drive and you can ease up on the control over. Managing the catering team is usually a great task to hand off, as you can still be the main person calling the shots, but your mom can be sure her tastes are spoken for as well.

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