7 Ways to Overcome Wedding Vow Writer's Block

The words and emotions are in your heart but you can't get them out. Take a look at some effective ways to kickstart your vow writing.

Contributing Writer

Writing your own vows is a beautiful idea, but it's not easy for most brides and grooms to actually do. You want to find the right words because you'll be proclaiming your love and commitment before a crowd and, most importantly, to each other. But, if no matter how hard you've tried, the well inside you is dry and you're having trouble writing your vows, try our tips to get your creative juices flowing.


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Banish the enemy: noise.

If you're trying to write something as personal and emotional as your wedding vows, sitting in a café among loud latte lovers is probably not the greatest idea. Find a quiet place where you can think and, if it happens, cry. (Happy tears, of course.)

Play 20 questions.

Write down the answers to these prompts: How did you fall in love? What do you admire about your future partner? What do you hope for your future together? Why have you chosen to spend the rest of your life with this person? What do you love most about him or her? Seeing your answers on paper or screen will give you a direction to go in.

Pretend you're only talking to him.

If the thought of speaking before an audience of family and friends feels daunting, focus on writing your vows just for him, as if you're composing a love letter. If some of what you write feels too personal, change it—but now you've got a first draft to work with!

Think Mexico.

Look at photos of the two of you on vacation—what was the best part of the trip? How were you feeling about him and your relationship at the moment the photo was taken? Selfies, party snaps, and holiday photos are a gold mine for eliciting emotions, too.

Let Shakespeare help.

Or Robert Frost, Coldplay or whoever your favorite poets, writers, and lyricists are. If they've written lines that perfectly capture what you're feeling, incorporate their words in your vows. If you don't have a clue about meaningful poems and writings, do some research.


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Watch TV.

When some of our favorite television characters got hitched, they recited sweet, memorable vows. Find your favorites on YouTube or check out our top TV vows for inspiration. From Penny and Sheldon to Phoebe and Mike, you'll find something that'll give you fresh ideas.

Do something else.

Even if you've blocked out a certain time to write your vows, if nothing's happening, you might not be in the right frame of mind for writing. Put your pen or keyboard down, go for a walk or run, watch a movie, meditate, take a shower—whatever will relax you so you'll feel recharged and ready to take on the vow project again later.

About the Author

Nancy Mattia

Though Nancy has been writing about weddings for years, she admits that watching a bride walk down the aisle—even on TV—still makes her tear up. The New York-area writer's other favorite wedding moments are when the groom sees the bride for the first time, hearing the toasts, and when she sees a waiter with a tray full of hors d'oeuvres walking towards her. 


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