7 Wedding Thank-You Note Dos and Don'ts

Here, seven rules to get you in tip-top thank-you-card-writing shape.


We know, we know! You were so touched when you received all those wedding gifts from your family and friends, but the thought of writing a (seemingly) endless amount of thank-you cards seems like an impossible task at the moment. Rest easy: When done right, the act of writing your thank-you cards can be a gratifying and happy event.


Creative Ways to Say Thank You

DO: Mail Your Cards Out Within Three Months

We hate to break it to you, but you do not have an entire year to send your thank-you notes. Ideally you should send your thank-yous within a few days of receiving the gift. However, seeing that weddings are a crazy and hectic time, etiquette allows you a three-month grace period to get those cards in the mail.

DON'T: Send Pre-Printed Thank-You Cards

Look, your friends and family spent some time (and cash) picking out a gift for you and probably spent some money to attend your wedding—whether by buying a new dress, taking time off work, booking a hotel room and airfare, etc. So don't take the easy way out and send generic pre-printed or fill-in the blank thank-you cards. 

DO: Write Them in Batches

Don't be a hero—or a procrastinator—and try and write all 137 of your thank-you cards in one night. Instead, make it manageable and write four or five a night over the course of a few weeks or months (as long as you can hit that three-month delivery mark). By pacing yourself, you'll be able to write meaningful and thoughtful messages instead of ones that read as rushed and banal.

DON'T: Forget Anyone

Basic rule of thumb: anyone who helped you, gave a gift, or had any part of your day needs to be thanked. So that includes: your parents, wedding party, and vendors—they all need to be acknowledged with a thank-you card.

DO: Be Organized

At your bridal shower, be sure to designate a secretary (usually your MOH) to keep track of all the gifts you received and who gave the gift. Once home, take that handwritten sheet and enter it into a spreadsheet that also contains mailing address and the date the gift was given. Log gifts in the same manner when they are delivered to your home and for gifts that are given the day of.


How to Write a Bridal Shower Thank-You Card

DON'T: Write a Novel

You don't have to pen an opus—four or five sentences with a heartfelt message will suffice. Be sure to mention the specific gift that was given, why you like it, and how you plan to use the gift; if the gift giver also came to your wedding be sure to include a sentence thanking them for attending.

DO: Divide and Conquer

Your better half does not have the luxury of sitting this task out. Instead, have him write thank-you cards for his friends and family and you write to yours. It's standard for one person to write and sign the card (making sure to mention their spouse in the note's message) but also totally OK to co-write and co-sign.

About the Author

Lindsay Brown

As a former managing editor of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine, Lindsay has been entrenched in the bridal world for over seven years. From etiquette to fashion, she has extensive knowledge of everything wedding-related. When she isn't writing, Lindsay can be found tackling a home renovation project with her husband, or chasing after her toddler-aged daughter in Long Island, New York.


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