The Pros and Cons of Throwing a Co-ed Shower

More and more brides are opting for a Jack 'n Jill party.

Photography by: JBM Photography

Ribbon bouquets and toilet paper gowns not your thing? Have more guy friends than girl friends? Want your man by your side? Sounds like a couple's shower could be right up your alley. But bucking the tradition of the time honored bridal shower could come with some downsides. Read on for the pros and cons of throwing a Jack 'n Jill party.

Pro: More Booze    

Having a co-ed shower means your guy will probably help you look beyond the classic bridal-shower cocktail menu. (Read: Mimosas, mimosas, and more mimosas). Think margaritas, craft beer, martini bar, or a make your own Bloody Mary station.

Con: It could become a bro-fest

Throw a bunch of guys in a room, add an open bar, and the next thing you know you have what looks to be a bachelor party warmup. What could possibly go wrong?

Pro: You can get creative with your registry

The idea of a couple's shower is still that it's a gift giving event but instead of registering strictly for home goods like sheet sets, towels, and kitchenware you can expand the list and register for "guy friendly" items like power tools, electronics, outdoor gear, and home gadgets (asking for cash is still off limits though).

Con: Great Aunt Agnes will not be happy

[Cue the pearl clutching!] Traditional etiquette says that the bride is the only guest of honor and no men are allowed to attend. There may be some grumbling and confusion from the old guard in your family when they find out that the opposite sex will be in attendance (and perhaps even some declined invitations and unforeseen headaches).

Pro: You will not be confined to the ladies-only luncheon

From a backyard BBQ to an evening cocktail hour, throwing a couple's shower opens up the doors to what kind of party you can have. Think of it more as an engagement party with a gift- opening portion taking place near the end of the event.

Con: More people means more money

"You need me to spend more cash? That sounds fantastic!!", said nobody ever. Don't forget that requesting a co-ed shower means a bigger guest list, which in turn means more food, drink, favors, and a larger venue. And your host (or hosts) will be the ones responsible for shelling out the extra dough to accommodate.

Pro: You get to share the spotlight

By having your partner there, they'll be able to take away some of the stress that comes with being the center of attention. Plus, he'll be able to help you open up the (seemingly endless) gifts.

Con: You will not be receiving any lacy items or other risqué gifts    

Receiving lingerie at your shower is out--no one wants to unwrap sexy-things in front of their brother or future father-in-law.

Pro: You get to celebrate with your partner and your nearest and dearest

You share the same friends so why would he not be invited to participate? As an added bonus both sides of the family will be able to mingle and get to know each other before the big day.

About the Author

Lindsay Brown

As a former managing editor of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine, Lindsay has been entrenched in the bridal world for over seven years. From etiquette to fashion, she has extensive knowledge of everything wedding-related. When she isn't writing, Lindsay can be found tackling a home renovation project with her husband, or chasing after her toddler-aged daughter in Long Island, New York.


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