5 Things That Should Never Be Dating Deal Breakers

Know what matters so you can let the chemistry develop without a list.

Digital Editorial Intern
Photography by: Millie Holloman

We often hear from couples who fell in love that the number one thing they would advise a single person to do is be more open minded. But we all have deal breakers, right? "Deal breakers should be things that are important to you and can't be changed, such as someone's values or their lifestyle," says Carly Spindel, one half of the mom-daughter duo behind Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking.


Translation: How much money he makes or the fact that he isn't six feet tall doesn't count! Here, Carly shares five other things that should never be a dating deal breaker.


His alma mater

So your date didn’t go to Harvard, Yale, or any of the other Ivy League schools—and that's okay! Maybe he didn't go to the most popular state school, either. What matters is whether or not he’s interesting to talk to. Does he stand for things you admire or have a good take on topics that are close to your heart? Don't let education be a turn-off, notes Spindel. You might discover you both love Kafka and American history, anyway. 


His hometown

Whether he is from a small town out west or a big city on the coast, this is one piece of information that carries little (okay, no) weight. Even if you are a born-and-raised New Yorker, and you aren't sure where Eden Prairie, Minnesota even falls on the map, we have four words for you: Give him a chance. 


His clothing choices

Let's say he shows up to your second date in a fanny pack and tube socks and you're not sure what to do. First, hold your tongue. Second, just go with it. "Don't be judgmental about things that can be changed," says Spindel. He could be the smart, hilarious, sartorially clueless love of your life. You'll never get the chance to find out though if you use this one aspect to shut him down. 


His car (or any other superfluous thing)

His set of wheels is not your dream car, so what? A car's sole purpose is to get from Point A to Point B—let this one go. Same goes for his apartment not being "big enough" or his watch not being a Rolex. C'mon ladies. This is real life—not The Real Housewives!


"No chemisty" on the first date

"Chemistry is different for everyone, so it can be immediate for some and take time to develop for others," says Spindel. "I've gotten tons of people married that didn't have chemistry on the first date which is why I suggest going on three dates with someone to really give them a chance." 

About the Author

Allison Fox

Allison Fox was a terribly shy four year old flower girl at her cousin's wedding, which took place in Allison's backyard. You'd think she would feel comfortable on her own territory—but no. When it was her turn to walk down the aisle, Allison clutched the back of her older sister's dress until she reached the altar, never fulfilling her job of sprinkling petals. These days, the MSW...


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